I have never been so happy and yet so upset to be sitting in a dentist chair as I was this morning. It's almost been 3 years since we actually had dental insurance and I had my teeth checked and cleaned. I'm a super tooth cleaning freak. Before I was married I was at the dentist every six months for check-ups and cleaning, I floss and I brush a lot....apparently not enough. I have lost two fillings but knew I couldn't get them fixed because of our financial situation right now. So Lonnie looked into dental insurance for our family and it is outrageous and we could either give up eating or have clean teeth...hmmmmm Which is a whole crazy side point in itself...dental insurance that is. So before I continue, I just want to say that I am so proud of Lonnie for working so hard and letting me stay home, I am truly blessed. Us not having extra money does not make him any less than a man. He is the master budget man, is very smart with money and takes amazing care of his family. We just don't have any extra moola hanging out at the moment.
Anyways, I was very tired of pain and chewing on one side of my mouth so I made an appointment (with permission from the keeper and maker of the money) I knew it wasn't going to be good news. So I was happy to be sitting down....in a comfy chair, alone....not so happy that I might have to have a root canal and crown put on my tooth. I was even more terrified to tell Lonnie about it and how much it will cost, than the whole procedure itself. So I go back in next week to see if the decay has gotten into the root of the tooth, if it hasn't then I can just get a filling...but if it has.....I will be selling my kidney on the black market. So please pray that it's just a cavity!!!! I'm just angry right now. Angry that it has to be so darn expensive to take care of your family and their teeth and angry that I have to be scared to tell my husband how much money we're going to have to shuck out for my tooth. I am so sorry, I feel so bad, but I did everything I could. This just sucks!!
I know God will provide, but it's so hard not to be angry. I am perfectly happy in our house and with having one car. Yes, it stinks sometimes, but I don't mind, I actually enjoy it. I'm tired or arguing about money and having Lonnie stress out about money. I know it's life, things like this happen, but every time we seem to be on the right track, something happens. It feels like we're treading water and just keeping our heads out of the water and then someone comes and dunks us under. Life happens I guess. I should be thankful for a roof over our head and food on our table and our health (besides my aching tooth) Okay, I'll stop now, it's just pissing me off typing about it. So sorry for complaining, it's one of those days. Maybe a walk will cool me off. *sighs* Enjoy the nice weather again!!! At least it's sunny outside, there's something positive today.