Wednesday, July 16, 2008

E is for Exhausted

T is for tired. P is for pooped. H is for headache. M is for meltdown. F is for freakout. R is for in ready to be home. Me tired. I had to miss the morning session for the spouses in which I was much looking forward to. Two full hours of adult conversation, no kiddos and of course much coffee. Why, you ask? His name is Baylor and he decided today was the day to freakout that mom was leaving him. Not yesterday, or the day before when he so joyously paraded into the room of new toys and friends. Today he clung to me like saran wrap, big crocodile tears and a whimpering "mommy don't leave me. " I melted into a pool of mommy mush. I'm such a sucker! So we stayed back in the room and played with trains while Brody took a nap (hooray for that!) We did get to go to the pool today which was pretty fun. Pella has this awesome aquatic center with slides, floaty things, squirty thingys and the lazy river...excuse me, it is called the "adventure" river. However in our case, it was called the panic river. Lonnie and I thought we could take the two boys on this nice little float down the slow rapids but by the end we were soaked by lots of waterfalls and splashing things and had two screaming kids and many people staring at us and getting their cell phones out to call human services. Note to self, it's not called the adventure river for nothing. So the rest of the afternoon we stuck to the nice calm kiddie pool. I'm kind of wondering if I turned Baylor into the scardy cat that he is. When he was a baby he had no fear, loved the water and loved all things adventurous. I tried to let him be adventurous and try new things on his own, but it seems to have backfired. I am not a helicopter know, the ones who "hover" over their kids all the time? Lately he's started to freak out over silly things (at least silly in my mind) like the shower (I kid you not it's like someone told him there were alligators, ninjas and boogie monsters in there with him) FREAK OUT. I think he'll be taking a bath until he's 30. He did however learn how to use the elevator by himself. Way to go son.
I'm enjoying my time with the wives (when I actually get to see them and talk to them) They are a group of amazing women who are so dedicated to their families and their Savior. We can all relate with being a "coaches wife" and the time that we don't get to see our husbands during the season. It's hard not to compare myself, my life and the way I am to these amazing women. I see their perfectly behaved children at dinner sitting quietly..all eight of them....and then I look at my two food covered boys screaming and throwing things....and I love them with all of my heart. I am trying so hard to be a good mother, a godly wife and to raise these two gifts that God has given me to love the Lord more than anything. I feel exhausted and feel like I've spanked Baylor too many times and it's not working...what am I doing wrong? I make a daily list in my head of things that I'm doing wrong or need to do better. Maybe if I do this or do that or stop doing this.....and then God says STOP. Be Still. Now there's a thought, BE STILL. I like this. I am not one for being still, but right about now it sounds like a pretty good idea. I've still got mommy training wheels on and they aren't coming off for a watch out! I know God is in control and I have to trust HIM and then trust myself to raise these boys.

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest...."


Jill said...

I hear you...I often feel completely exhausted and that my life is totally out of control. I recently read a good discipline book called: "1-2-3 Magic." It has worked really, really well for Abbie. It's an easy read, I promise. I just read it while I pumped at work. Very effective ideas on discipline and motivating children.

Janice said...

I sometimes wonder if large families that everyone behaves really well are not just bribed before they get there. Just kidding, but maybe it works? hee hee. On a serious note, I have a couple good reads on kiddos. Dont make me count to three and to train up a child. I'll warn you with the last one, it is known in some groups (non spankers) to be controversal and some people are not "on board" with that type of child rearing (also written by the same people who wrote created to be his help meet). Anyway, you are welcome to check them out if you want.

Kim said...

We have To Train Up a Child too and like many of the ideas...not all the methods necessarily. Definitly worth reading.
It's time for you to come home. It's just depressing to see your house closed up all the time. Downtown just isn't the same without beagles, naked toddlers and chalked sidewalks.

Jill said...

Oh yeah, another good one: Sheparding a Child's Heart.