Saturday, November 29, 2008

You Can't Schedule Life

Oh, but I can try!!!

This is the source of many debacles in my life. Also the source of high anxiety, stress and complete and utter analness. Me? Nooooo.....yeeeessss. I am a schedule freak. A schedule freak that has shortness of breath when you say, "plan? Heck no." See, I can't even write it without busting out my paper bag....deep breath.

Okay, got it together now.

Let me give you an example of how I ruined a perfectly good date with my husband with another case of freakinschedulitis kicked in.

Scene: Mall
Activity: Shopping for Christmas presents and getting a bite to eat.
Keri's definition of "bite to eat": Something cheap (we're on a budget here!) and quick and maybe portable, so we can get back to shopping, time must not be wasted even when it comes to consuming calories.
Lonnie's definition of "bite to eat": Sit down, talk, enjoy the food, then continue shopping at our own leisurely pace.
What goes through Keri's head when we arrive at mall: Sweet, we'll eat at the food court (hello Orange Chicken) and then hit Target and Scheels and maybe Bath and Body Works if we have time and avoiding the crazy merchants in the middle of the mall that try to sell you smelly bottles of disappointment. Pulls out detailed Christmas list with budgeted allotment for each individual and gift idea. Hello dork pants.
What goes through Lonnie's head when we arrive at Mall: Gross, I hate the food court, I do not want to eat here. Let's shop first and then eat later. Where? I have no plan...I fly by the seat of my pants, I laugh in the face of that a free sample?
What we end up doing: We hit Target first and find a few gifts, all is well...we're having fun and then I LOOK AT MY WATCH. Holy buckets Batman, we don't have much time then my brain kicks into overdrive and I subdivide everything, give everything a time schedule and plan. This, my friends, does not make husbands happy. We start to argue and then it's all down hill from there...

I ruined a perfectly good date with my husband all because I decided to schedule life.

YOU CAN'T SCHEDULE LIFE. (but possible you children's naps, mealtimes, clothing choices...umm, never mind...)

Another wonderful example of my creative yet freakish brain is the way my furniture is set up. We had to move furniture in order to fit Christmas tree and a couch that was given to us (love it...and yes, we have three couches in one small house...we're working on it) and a chair (aka "the naughty chair" to my children") was sticking out (and still is) in this very awkward and non flowing way. Now, things in my house have to be just so or I feel like there is a weight on my chest and that whole hyperventilation thing happens. I know you think I'm crazy, but just ask Lonnie...oh yea, I'm not crazy. Anyways, it bothered me all morning and I couldn't even be in the same room with it....IT WAS NOT RIGHT. It's still there...I peek over at it and cringe every so often. This chair will be the death of me...along with scheduling. I digress.

So, I must go (got to plan the next two weeks meals....SEE! I told you!) Just remember the moral to this story......
YOU CAN'T SCHEDULE LIFE (and that stinkin chair will remain)


Jill Kapfer said...

Oh my gosh...we are just alike. I get so upset when things are out of place and when my schedule is off. I get grumpy and you would think that perhaps the world was ending. I hate the feeling. I try not to be that way, but I can't help it. It must be genetic and impossible to overcome.

Andrea G. said...

I have the same problem too! The worst part is I have the schedule in my head and don't even convey it to Phillip and then get mad when he doesn't fall it! Praise the Lord that he keeps putting up with me!

Kim said...

Ok, good to know I'm not the only one who feels like her world is ending when things are out of place or off schedule. However, that makes traveling to see family VERY hard. I will be apologizing for my behavior for some time to come.