Thursday, July 31, 2008

Vat of potatoes.



If you know me, you know that I have a few weaknesses in the form of food (but c'mon, who doesn't) one being chocolate of course, two is coffee and three is potatoes in any shape or form. Today I missed lunch because I was trying to feed two hungry mongers that invaded my kitchen. They enjoyed a marvelous meal of angel hair pasta with sauce, fresh fruit and of course cottage cheese (which seems to be a staple at each meal now) So after putting them down for naps I finally had time to realize that I was starving and there was no chocolate in the house AT ALL. In fact, since it's the end of the month, finding something in the form of food rather than condiments is rare. This is always a great time to clean the fridge. Anyways, I peered into the bare pantry and decided that raisin bran, stewed tomatoes, ramen noodles or beef bullion cubes were not really what I had in mind. But alas, there it sat...hidden in the corner of the pantry staring at me like a sad puppy. Instant potatoes baby. They called out to me, "come eat us, make your butt even bigger...hooray for carbs!" And I responded with. Heck yea. So as I sit here enlightening you with words of wisdom and wit, I am seriously eating a vat of instant mashed potatoes with absolutely no nutritional value what so ever. Woo hoo.
Today is a nasty day, bad hair day and sweat trickle down the back of your legs when you sit down day. The punks and I enjoyed some sand box and wading pool fun this morning. We also decided that Popsicles were no use just sitting in the freezer and made sure we put them to good use. Brody is also not walking anymore...he's running. Crawling is now in the past and this kid is just like his brother who was sprinting within a week of taking his first steps. Speaking of Brody and his cute little tushie. I'm planning a nice family celebration on Sunday for his first birthday.

Lonnie and I had a "couch date" last night. We put the kids in bed and checked out Juno from the library. It was hilarious. Soundtrack was a bit on the strange side, but the humor was perfect. Of course there is the whole moral issues thing, but aside from the premarital sex and impregnation, it rocked. Tomorrow I will actually leave the house....in a car...for the first time in about a week ( I kid you not) We'll see if I can remember how to drive it's been so long. We have a very romantic morning planned. Kid free grocery shopping at Wally world and a few garages sales on the side. I know, hold on to your britches, it's just oozing with mush.

video

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Did I just pay $4 for syrup?

Oh yes I did. Seriously. $4 for a bottle of Gary's Super Value butter flavored syrup because my kids like syrup on their waffles. Gary, I see no super value here. We need to talk. I'm on a budget and a tight one at that, I cannot pay nearly five bucks for a bottle of pure sugar that will end up all over my children, fridge and everything that comes in contact with. AND it wasn't even cute like good ole Aunt Jemima, don't ya just want to pinch her cheeks....not THOSE cheeks!! While we're on the subject of prices Gary (our local grocery price gauging store if you were wondering) Why do I feel like I've been slapped after I leave your store? Give the pocket book some love please.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Potty boot camp: Day 2

Slightly confused at the fact that this child will be very excitedly outside on the grass or on a tree or in a potted plant.....BUT NOT IN POTTY!? Should I take the potty outside? I'll take what I can get though. Every little step helps. We had the big boy pants on from the moment he woke up and he actually said, "okay" when I asked him to put them on (that's a big step) No accidents, but no peeing in the potty. He did ask to put a diaper back on...simply because he knows he can poo in the diaper and it's more convenient for him. Not gonna happen dude. He also had a friend over this morning and they both decided to strip naked (big surprise there) and one was on the potty chair the other was on the real toilet. The both insisted on reading magazines while they "tried".....hilarious. Even funnier was the fact that they both grabbed Country Home and were reading them upside down. I now understand when mom's say that potty training was the hardest thing they had to do with their child, aside from the fact of birthing a small pot roast.

Tonight my mom is taking me shopping for Brody's birthday which is on Sunday. Seeing as the little dude is only one, he really won't remember anything we get him. So really it's a shopping trip for me :) I did ask for a new pair of shoes and a few new outfits. The poor kid doesn't own anything that isn't from Goodwill, his brother or a garage sale. It doesn't really matter since he gets everything very dirty, but it might be nice to have a few outfits that don't have grass stains, poo stains or strained squash stains somewhere on them. I am also going to make him a cake...yes, a real cake...made with REAL SUGAR (the white poison) and real frosting....gasp! I am also going to strip him down and let him dig in like there's no tomorrow. I might even let him roll in it if he wants. Heck, I might even roll in it. You're only one once.

So this week I've tried desperately to ban the dogs from the rest of the house and barricaded them in the kitchen. It worked for a day and then Chloe got smart. She has proceeded to break the baby gate and jump over any obstacle (exersacuer, chairs, my cornet case, brooms, Baylor) to escape into the rest of the house. I spent all day Monday de-hairing the house because I am just plain sick of dog hair. It is everywhere....you find it in strange places...food....toothbrush...butt cracks (seriously) I would rather spend time playing with my kiddos rather than raking hair from the couch. I still love them, but they have been banished....I just need a new form of entrapment.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Potty training boot camp


Yes, I'm talking about this dude. So cute. So innocent. So NOT potty trained and would rather relieve himself on the floor or a potted plant than in a large porcelain bowl. But who wouldn't? I need some major help. We've dubbed this week "no more diapers week" Woo hoo! First thing this morning the diaper came off and the big boy pants went on. There was kicking and screaming and gnashing of teeth and I think I may have a black eye...BUT they finally stayed on. There has to be a better way. I think it's a battle of will now rather than a battle of "is he ready?" He is almost three, a genius and sly dog..he has to be ready!!!! I AM READY!!! So we tried five times to go potty this morning and he didn't even squeeze out one drop (not even a loud grunt like usual) We even went to the library and he didn't have an accident (which is great) He just kept holding it and holding it until he sat down for lunch and screamed, "I peeeeeeeed!" and then burst into tears. So I removed the wet bob the builder undies...poor bob....and put on fresh pants. I don't understand. I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Is it normal to want to pay someone to come potty train my child? He'll pee in his pants and not in the toilet....help!

Brody man. Screaming his lungs out as we speak. Refused his morning nap. Slept for 30 minutes this afternoon. Woke up three times last night. Anyone want to rent a baby? I am debating weather to take him to the Dr to check his ears, the last time he made me look like a fool when he had not a thing wrong with him. I cannot figure this child out. Actually I can't figure either of my children out? What's going on here? Sabotage I tell you. Everyone else and their dogs sleep and are even potty trained....and my children and dogs can't seem to figure it out. I am having a mommy moment of failure as we speak. It might be the Mt.Dew talking...hey, who brought this Mt.Dew and put it in my fridge? I do not need Mt.Dew. I do however, need massive amounts of chocolate. I seem to have misplaced my How to Raise, Care, Feed, Potty Train and not Kill your Child manual. Can I borrow someones?


Picking clover flowers just for mom...awww, how cute. Check out that sexy belly!!

A rare moment of brotherly love caught on camera.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Funny farm

Why yes that is a baby kitty Brody is holding upside down and backwards. Just missed the bite he almost took out of the tail. Shhh don't tell Peta.

Here we have smiley and Elvis. Elvis is a miniature horse with one heck of an attitude. Hunka hunka burnin horse poo.
Just hydrating after long hours of screaming at night and keeping mom up. Mom is VERY tired. I am going to blame his ears, but who knows.
Baylor with Grandpa Wilson on the scooter. He's totally white knuckling for dear life. It's okay, so would I.

Just some fun tractor driving. Okay, not really driving (they wouldn't let me after the little crash incident) but either way, sitting in one was fun for all.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Amongst Friends

Last night I headed to Iowa City to attend a baby shower for an old high school friend of mine. I was thrilled for many reasons: 1. Child free evening among adults which meant adult conversation (even if it was talking about babies) 2. Child free...wait, I already said that. 3. I got to see some of my old high school buddies who are now moms. 4. I got to go with my mom, pretty much the coolest person I know. We talked in the car (actually we sat in the driveway for ten minutes because we were early) about how much everyone has grown up. It's just funny to look back and think that we worried over such silly things as boys and....uh, boys. Now we all have wonderful husbands that God picked out just for us and families. I may not see these friends very often, but we've shared in so many experiences together and I am so thankful for them.

I am headed to Illinois right now to Grandma M.E's horse farm...with the boys....and my mom. Wish us luck. Someone might lose it....and it's probably going to be me!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Old dudes in spandex

That got your attention didn't it? That is what I looked out my front porch this morning and saw. Well....some old dudes, some young dudes, some chicks and little kids. Anyways, RAGBRAI (Register's Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa) headed through out town this morning and it was crazy. About 5,000 bike riders and all of their gear stopping to see our great metropolis of Lisbon and eat a steak burger at 9 in the morning. Got to get your protein somehow. They travel about 60-80 miles a day and today's loop was North Liberty through Mt.Vernon, Lisbon, Mechanicsville and ending up in Tipton. Some people travel from all over the country, others are from Iowa. I hear there is lots of beer drinking and craziness that goes on...but that's what you get when you put people in spandex dontcha know? Wow, that was really South Dakotan wasn't it? Baylor was more thrilled that there were four large John Deere tractors parked along the road, than the thousands of bikes. He has developed a nice cheesy smile for the camera and here he is showing it off.

Oh look. Nekkid boys. It's been a while since you've seen their tushies. How cute they are...all tanned and such. Well, their tushies aren't tanned, more like their backs. I do use sunblock by the way. Just wanted to point that out for all of your crazy people that are looking at these photos going, "Dear gracious me oh my, look at that tan line...I'll bet she didn't put any sunblock on those poor children." Well, I did.

And for the final mugshot of the day. Brody man is learning how to be polite and offer me some brownie batter....what's left of it anyways, most of it ended up on his face. "dear gracious, heavens to Betsy...is she feeding that boy chocolate at such a young age?" Ummm, yes. He's fine. A little crazy, but fine. If he's going to share in the addiction like his mother, he has to start at a young age. There's nothing better for growing children than browning batter. Speaking of crazy. This youngin has decided to go through another round of screaming in the night. Can't say that I'm to thrilled about it either. In fact, I'm just plain mad. He screams at the top of his lungs and so I end up getting him for fear that I will have TWO screaming children. Turns out he just wants to snuggle. Isn't it nice to feel loved? I sure do love him, but I sure do love him sleeping through the night. I need my beauty sleep son.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Your butt is smokin...

No, that wasn't a pick up line used on me..wait, was it? Just talking about the powder erupting from Brody man's rear end after a nice mandarin orange poo explosion. You bet. I'm talking about kiddo poo again. It's been a while since I enlightened many of you with such glorious things. Note to self: do not feed baby mandarin oranges or you'll pay severely in about 2.3 hours. For those of you who have yet to experience this joy, don't worry, you're fun will come.

So I was listening to talk radio, a secret addiction of mine. I love music, but I also love intelligent political debates and debacles that only comes from a few sources, one of them being Rush himself. Don't hate me because I am a student of the Excellence in Broadcasting school. Anyways, loving Rush is not the point. The point was that I heard that washing your dishes by hand takes a ton more energy than running a full load in the dishwasher. Amen!!! I'll say it again. Amen!!! I am going to contribute to my efforts of going "green" and try to save energy by not washing dishes by hand. I pledge to do my part and stuff my dishwasher full of crusty gross dishes and run a nice big load. (can you tell I hate washing dishes by hand?) I think I used to like it...in fact, I think it was a major selling point for Lonnie. Sorry babe, not anymore.

I will now step on to my soap box for the remainder of this post. I want to talk to you a little about being polite and accepting politeness. I'm talking about all you ladies who don't think you need a man to hold the door for you. You see, you're making it hard for me to raise my boys with manners. If you cannot say thank you when a man...or boy....or three year old holds the door open for you, you need a spankin. Men are not trying to make you less of a woman by holding the extremely heavy door that you couldn't possibly open on your own. Just let them feel like a man and say thank you. And that is all I have to say about that. Amen. God Bless. Peace out.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Does this onsie make my butt look big?

Does this onsie make my butt look big?
Here I am. I climbed up here all by myself. I also climbed on the coffee table and stood up all by myself. My mom is going to have her hands full.
Why yes that is a 1 on my foot....and yes, it's in permanent marker. Don't worry, it came right off with gasoline...just kidding!!! I just wanted to make sure you all knew how old I was going to be on August 3rd.
They don't feed me enough so sometimes I like to eat feet. Mmm toes.
Baby prison stinks but the rails sure tastes good.
Take that big bro! Soon I will be pounding upon you just like you do to me. Watch out.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Just smear some pudding on it

I just thought I would enlighten you all on this hilarity that made my day today.

My nearly three year old decided that vanilla pudding wasn't for eating anymore. Instead, he smeared it all over his body from head to toe....just because. No photo, just a great mental picture.

How's that for a smile. I dare you do try it.

dog hair, sticky feet and utter chaos

It's been one of those days. I wake up after a long and painful night of screaming Brody (not quite sure what was ailing him, but he seems to be full of snot this morning) and trip over Larry, Bob and Junior (these are Veggies, not strange men in my house by the way) On my way down, catch a scary glimpse of myself in the mirror (gasp and then run away) Head straight for the coffee pot. I have a wonderful list of things to do (which Baylor has already drawn on and crumpled up) and only one of those things has gotten accomplished this morning. My house is in total disarray and feet are sticking to the floor. Do I want to mop...umm, nope. I'd rather stay in my P.J's and play on the dog hair covered floor with my two punks, one of which has just dripped snot all over me. Mmmmmm. Everyone is cranky, including me. It is far too early to have a glass of wine isn't it? You know I'm kidding, I would never advocate the use of alcohol to drown away sorrows and frustrations...however it might numb them for a while. I've had like 13 cups of coffee...okay, maybe only three, but it's enough to leave me shaking like a leaf. That and the fact that I can't remember if I ate lunch with the boys and think it only consisted of a handful of animal crackers and a bite of toasted cheese sand which. Man, that's why I'm so hungry!! Whoever brought those Doritos in the house is going to be in big trouble...ummmm, dear husband, you don't have to stare them down every time you walk in the kitchen. Okay, enough whining. I should be doing something more productive like trying to achieve my to-do list instead of blogging, but we all know which is more enjoyable.

Today in my quiet time, I'm reading through Ephesians. My verse today was: I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. ... The verse goes on to say how deep the father's love for us is, something that we can't even fathom. After feeling the love I have for my children, I can't even imagine how God feels about us. What a great feeling it must be. Enjoy your day!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Picked green tomatoes

Yup. You guessed it. It was only a matter of time before Baylor discovered my green tomatoes waiting to ripen on the vine.
MOOOOOM, Look what I found!!!!
We have since then had a long conversation about not picking my green tomatoes. A long conversation over some milk and cookies with the pankin poon not far from sight. We'll see how long his sticky little fingers can stay out of my garden. Speaking of garden.....something has taken over the back garden. Actually, I kind of know what it might be....squash...or gourds...or pumpkins...not quite sure, but it's taking over the entire back yard. I guess it's a positive in that we won't have to mow there anymore....and we won't have to buy our pumpkins this year.

Okay movies. I haven't seen a movie in a theatre in over a year (yes, I know...sad) and there are a few reasons behind this absolute absurdity. 1. Movie tickets are mighty pricey and add popcorn (with lots of butter of course) and you have to take out a small loan 2. Too long, I have ADD and can't sit through movies anymore 3. Babysitter woes 4. I crave adult conversation and you can't talk in a movie. I do however want to see the new Batman. Huge Batman fan (who is the best Batman?...Val, Michael, Christian?) actually a huge Christian Bale fan as well, but that is beside the point. Batman begins was awesome and had a great soundtrack as well. So that might be have to be our next date night......and my once a year movie.

I was also informed by my lovely husband, that I needed to proof read my blog before I published. Apparently I was getting a little to excited about the spell check coming back with no missed words....except it doesn't pick up when you want to say not instead of no. I believe we've had this conversation before...I don't spell, I don't proof read...I draw...and paint...and make things.....But for the sake of my marriage and English teacher, I will try to be a better proof reader.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Brody walks!

video

Here it is folks. Caught by Grandma Koser. It will only be days before he is at a full sprint. Gee, can't wait.

Chill out


Sorry about the glare...it's just my halo reflecting in the window.....

This photo was totally set up, there is no way Baylor would hug Brody...he would however strangle him in a second

At Matt's wedding in Iowa City. My three handsome dudes.

CHILL OUT MOM.
Seriously. Did my almost three going on 14 year old just tell me to chill out?!!!! Ummm, yes he did. Holy cow, where in the world did he learn that? It's not like I walk around the house going, "Chill out dude, got to go catch me some waves, gnarly, psych!" (said in surfer dude voice) Maybe I should take his words of wisdom...okay, maybe not wisdom...words of.....uh.....utter and complete insanity!!! My three year old told me to CHILL OUT!!!!!
Okay, deep breath. Time to...chill out :)

I just finished mowing in insanely long and almost alfalfa like grass in this amazingly lovely Iowa humidity. I am sitting in a pool of my own sweat, yum. While I was mowing, I kept thinking of funny things to blog about and then of course I sit down and forget them all. Oh yes, Brody has taken about 5-6 steps and is well on his way to sprinting. Kind of like his older brother whose latest stunts include running far far away from mom and dad. I think one of those "baby leashes" you know, the ones that are secretly made to look like backpacks, might be a good idea right about now.
Repeat to self:
It's just a phase.
He's 3.
I am doing a great job.
Spanking is okay.
Selling on eBay is not okay, but okay to think about once in a while.
Chill out.

Friday, July 18, 2008

He'd better be a track star...


Oh yea, here is the little booger now with his "clown smile" drawn with permanent marker.

...because he certainly runs like one now, and when I say RUN I mean RUN...as in AWAY from me. I'm not talking a few feet away, I'm talking about a full sprint (and with mighty good form I might add) as far as his little legs can take him. So pretty far. We've had quite the week with this little speed demon. He's been quite the naughty little man, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and blame it on lack of sleep and being away from home.
Speaking of home, it's great to be!! I love home. I love my home. I love loving my home. I missed my dogs (Shhh don't tell anyone) We had lots of dog hair, mail and long grass waiting for us. We actually slipped away before everyone left 1. because I hate saying goodbye and 2. Baylor was melting down fast. A good night sleep and familiarity will do us all good.

.....and this is how we wash our children when they don't have bathtubs.

My fellow band family member Rick, went to be with Jesus this week. He fought so hard and was always in good spirits. Cancer doesn't pick and choose and it rips families apart. Pray for his wife, raising three young children without a father. He's in better hands now.

(p.s NO wrong spellings! Booya)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Happy dance

If I could capture the look on Baylor's face when he finally made it down the slide BY HIMSELF, I would bottle it up and sell it for lots of money. It was the look of sheer determination mixed with thrill and of course pride. He's still talking about it and how he did it by himself. He did a little happy dance at the bottom of the slide "I did it, I did it!" as all the other children waited for him to move out of the way. "Just give him a minute" I exclaimed, "This is his first time" and I watched the little dude dance away. Who would have thought such a small act would make a parent so proud. I thought using the elevator by himself, being able to push the right button and make it down without the alarms going off, was awesome. I can't imagine what I'll be like when he runs his first race or hits his first home run. All the disciplining woes of the day went out the door with his very happy dance. I think I need to take a moment and do a happy dance too!

Today in our group we talked about circumstance. How God uses certain ones to build us, mold us and use us for His glory. How everyone has a different circumstance but in a way they are all very similar. I couldn't help but think how each of these women were very similar but so very alike. Some had many kids, some had only a few. There were wives there that were hurting inside from miscarriages, failing marriages, persecution in their work, sexual abuse and intense sadness. They have been beating themselves up inside and laying on the mother guilt (this guilt much worse than regular guilt, trust me) Even though I may not share all of the their circumstances, we still have many common bonds and the biggest being that Jesus is our Lord and Savior. It's been a rough week and I wish I could have gained more insight from this study and had more time to delve in on my own. My goal is either to find some women to go through this book, and I mean really go through it (no skirting around the issues) or really dive into it on my own no matter how hard it may be. I need a challenge, I need someone to hold me to actually reading. It's hard for me to do when I don't have an "assignment," even then, I like to put it off. Satan has been at work this week trying to throw me off my game, and he did a pretty good job, but in the end Jesus wins. I learned some very valuable nuggets that I will treasure forever and hopefully put to good use. Sorry for being so negative in the last post, I really to treasure the comments, suggestions and prayers from everyone.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

E is for Exhausted

T is for tired. P is for pooped. H is for headache. M is for meltdown. F is for freakout. R is for ready...as in ready to be home. Me tired. I had to miss the morning session for the spouses in which I was much looking forward to. Two full hours of adult conversation, no kiddos and of course much coffee. Why, you ask? His name is Baylor and he decided today was the day to freakout that mom was leaving him. Not yesterday, or the day before when he so joyously paraded into the room of new toys and friends. Today he clung to me like saran wrap, big crocodile tears and a whimpering "mommy don't leave me. " I melted into a pool of mommy mush. I'm such a sucker! So we stayed back in the room and played with trains while Brody took a nap (hooray for that!) We did get to go to the pool today which was pretty fun. Pella has this awesome aquatic center with slides, floaty things, squirty thingys and the lazy river...excuse me, it is called the "adventure" river. However in our case, it was called the panic river. Lonnie and I thought we could take the two boys on this nice little float down the slow rapids but by the end we were soaked by lots of waterfalls and splashing things and had two screaming kids and many people staring at us and getting their cell phones out to call human services. Note to self, it's not called the adventure river for nothing. So the rest of the afternoon we stuck to the nice calm kiddie pool. I'm kind of wondering if I turned Baylor into the scardy cat that he is. When he was a baby he had no fear, loved the water and loved all things adventurous. I tried to let him be adventurous and try new things on his own, but it seems to have backfired. I am not a helicopter mom....you know, the ones who "hover" over their kids all the time? Lately he's started to freak out over silly things (at least silly in my mind) like the shower (I kid you not it's like someone told him there were alligators, ninjas and boogie monsters in there with him) FREAK OUT. I think he'll be taking a bath until he's 30. He did however learn how to use the elevator by himself. Way to go son.
I'm enjoying my time with the wives (when I actually get to see them and talk to them) They are a group of amazing women who are so dedicated to their families and their Savior. We can all relate with being a "coaches wife" and the time that we don't get to see our husbands during the season. It's hard not to compare myself, my life and the way I am to these amazing women. I see their perfectly behaved children at dinner sitting quietly..all eight of them....and then I look at my two food covered boys screaming and throwing things....and I love them with all of my heart. I am trying so hard to be a good mother, a godly wife and to raise these two gifts that God has given me to love the Lord more than anything. I feel exhausted and feel like I've spanked Baylor too many times and it's not working...what am I doing wrong? I make a daily list in my head of things that I'm doing wrong or need to do better. Maybe if I do this or do that or stop doing this.....and then God says STOP. Be Still. Now there's a thought, BE STILL. I like this. I am not one for being still, but right about now it sounds like a pretty good idea. I've still got mommy training wheels on and they aren't coming off for a while...so watch out! I know God is in control and I have to trust HIM and then trust myself to raise these boys.

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest...."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I wanted a smile mom

So today at the children's program they had some clowns come for the kids. Three of the kids were freaked out and will be scarred for life, but the rest of them (including Baylor) loved them. He got to make a cute little paper hat with poofy things and ribbon that Brody proceeded to eat within seconds of completion. One of the clowns had face paint on and a big smile and he got pretty attached. We got back to the room and I was trying to change Brody's diaper and left Baylor in the other room playing with his trains...or so I thought. I come out to laughter and Baylor drawing a "smile" ALL over his face just like the clown...with black permanent marker. So 1. I laughed, it was hilarious 2. Got the camera, for a quick photo shoot 3. quickly scrubbed the marker off with dish soap and water....and it actually came off his face. I'll post the photo when I get home because he's so darn cute. He's also so darn crabby...and so am I so it's off to bed for me...and yes, it's 8pm.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Fun haters

That is apparently what we are. No fun, no fun at all. Our kids were in bed at 7:30 and we joined them shortly. I have been patrolling the hallways trying to shush yelling kids playing hide and seek...because by golly my kids are napping and this time is precious! You don't mess with nappy time in the Speidel house, even if we're not in the Speidel house. I will defend this time if if comes down to duct taping children to the wall. Speaking of walls, these walls are thin and the floors are thinner. Last night Baylor proclaimed, "mom, there are elephants upstairs jumping around." No, just a handful of 10 year old boys reenacting scenes from ninja turtles but they SOUND like elephants! Now, I have a repuataion of nap/sleep nazi to uphold here! Insert deep breath here.
It was great this morning though. I dropped the boys off at free childcare and the moms/wives got some much needed adult conversation. I needed some more coffee, the coffee cups were the size of shot glasses and I was tempted to stick my mouth under the nozzle or just park myself right by the coffee machine. Who doesn't love double fisting coffee cups? We do a spouses study and the book we are doing is Lies Women Believe by Nancy Lee DeMoss. It's been on my reading list for a while and I've been putting it off because 1. I don't have time to read (I have to blog you know?!) even though I enjoy a good read 2. Reading is hard for me, I like pictures and I can't sit in one spot and just relax 3. I knew that I was going to learn something from it (and I knew exactly what I was going to learn) and could feel the conviction seeping from the book that had yet to be opened. As we speak...write...read..whatever..the book is staring me in the face, waiting to be opened. I will fill you in on what I learned after I actually start reading the book. I don't have much time before tweedle dee and tweedle dum wake up form their naps and are rip rearing and ready to go. Until next time....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Deep breath....ahhhhhhhh

Well we made it. In one piece....kind of? We stuffed poor Bessie to the brim...and I'm talking stuffed. My knees were up on my seat because there was no room for my feet below. Diapers were stuffed in the back window....hilarious. I think we lost Brody at one point, but then moved a few bags and there he was! We looked the the Clampits circa 2008 trying to get out of town. I've already had two mommy meltdowns. Now I am a very laid back mom and fun person, but when it comes to my kids and schedules and hanging out with other mom's that look like they have it all together, I freak. FREAK OUT. We are suite mates with a family of 8!!! Yes, you heard me....8...and that is not counting mom and dad. Fortunately they are not all here, just the little ones, but this woman is amazing. She is about 5 foot tall and as skinny as a bean pole. Her kids are well behaved (not robots)fun and potty trained! The oldest is in college and the youngest is 3. Holy cow. I think I will be taking lessons from her this week. If she can do it without maiming a child, than I certainly can handle a week out of my scheduled comfort zone. So many deep breaths, lots of prayers and maybe some sedatives...I think I'll make it.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Have boys, will travel


Of course this is not my son jumping off of a mattress in the living room...we would NEVER do anything that crazy or unsafe....

All packaged up and ready to be mailed to Abu Daubi.......

...and I'm talking about all THREE of my boys. Today's mission is to try to fit

a week's worth of living including bedding, into a small Corolla...Bessie. Bessie, my lovely little hunk of metal, does not have the trunk space for all of the gear that comes along with having kids. Seriously!? Where does all of this stuff come from? Back to the being prepared for everything....you bet I am. (Insert Lonnie eye roll here) We have laid everything out and have a battle plan as soon as the kiddos are in bed, we will stuff, smush, squish, pack, you name it...to get everything in that car....with room for the kids. Wish us luck. We will prevail.....just say no to minivans.

We're trying to teach Baylor the importance of honesty and I think he is grasping the concept a little too well. We were all getting ready for bed in our room and I was changing (yes, in front of my kid, if he is curious he'll ask and I'll tell him. I'd rather him find out what they are from me than Susie Q. Besides that is another issue that I'm sure will be touched upon in later posts) Anyways....clothing was being exchanged for P.J's and Baylor turns to me and says,

"Mommy, you have boobies."

Why yes son, so does your dad.

"Mommy, you have SMALL boobies."

Lonnie is dying laughing on the floor. I am stunned and not sure how to react. I guess he was being honest....and do you know why the resemble pancakes my son BECAUSE OF YOU!!!! Since I decided to be a breastuarant for your hungry little hiney, the end result is "Small boobies." THANKS.

Thought you might all enjoy a little laugh on me. Laugh it up. I know you are.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Doggone hot

Now who doesn't love 95 degree days with 75% dew points? That's what I'm talking about. You know, the days when you step outside and you "self shower" in sweat in 2.4 seconds, your hair goes from straight to curly in 5.6 seconds, you can wring you clothes out and breathing becomes oppressive. You haven't experienced summer until you come to Iowa in mid July. Humidity rocks. You know it's been a while since I talked about the weather, so here you go.

So I was working out yesterday morning at Cornell, enjoying my alone time and was reading this magazine article in some fitness magazine with a sickeningly perfect lady on the front. It had this entire weight/cardio workout using free weights. They had nice photos and descriptions of the workout and it was supposed to tone the body as well as give you a good cardio workout. It looked fun and I'm always up for a challenge, I get bored with running sometimes. First of all, I'm really glad no one was in there to watch me make a fool of myself trying to figure out what the "model" was doing. Oh dear Lord I looked silly but let me tell you...I can't sit down today. I have found new muscles that I never knew existed. Needless to say, getting a good workout triumphed over looking like a fool and being so amazingly sore. It might be a few days before I try that insanity again. I think I might reward my stupidity with chocolate :)

Brody man is almost a year...holy cow!! This year at this time I was bouncing on balls, running around the yard with Baylor, riding a bike...anything to try to get the little booger out. When Baylor was almost a year, he decided to boycott the morning nap. Looks like little bro is following in his footsteps. Not Cool. I haven't really thought about how I feel about this....well, actually I have and it involves a few naughty words so I'll spare you. I just hope he holds on to that nap for a few more months. I thought he would be walking by now, but he can crawl soooooooooo fast that walking just seems silly. He sits and then stands and then squats and then does this funny sumo stand but no walking. So here, my friends, is an example of what we call the "speed crawl" Enjoy and watch out, he might get you. OH yea...sorry it's the wrong way, I can't figure out how to flip it.


video

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hi-low


Baylor: Hi-low, this is Baylor
Me: Baylor, why did you answer the phone? Where is your dad?
Baylor: Ummm, I'm being naughty today. I'm eating strawberries and I bit my brother on his head. I have a back-hoe it's right here. (yea, I can really see where you're pointing)
Me: Baylor, I need to talk to daddy, can you give him the phone?
Baylor: I have small boobies. My mom is doing dishes today. (seriously kid, is that all you think I do?) Ummm, Who is this?
Me: (trying to contain laughing) Baylor, can I talk to Daddy?
Baylor: Who is this?
Me: It's your mom
Baylor: No it's not.
Lonnie: Hello!? Sorry, Baylor decided to answer the phone....

Hello ADD phone conversation!!! Yes, Baylor has decided he is old enough to carry on a phone conversation and answer the phone. Luckily, his first phone answering experience happened to be with his mother (whom he didn't recognize) and it was mighty hilarious. Apparently he has decided that talking about his boobies to a perfect "stranger" is acceptable. We'll be having a chat later. Baylor has been on a roll. Last night we had some friends on our porch and were carrying on a nice conversation. I had a big full glass of iced tea in my hand and Baylor was playing in the living room...or so I thought. All of a sudden, out of the blue.....BAM! The little dude bit me in the butt!!!! I'm not talking about a nice little nibble, this kid drew blood and left teeth marks. What possessed him to munch on my hiney, I'm not sure. I was so started that I threw my arms up in the air and so went the iced tea all over the dude sitting to my left. I'm writhing in pain, our friend is covered in tea and Baylor is sprinting towards the kitchen hold his rear...that's right kid, you'd better run. For his final act of deviance, we were at the pool. He decided that my clean, dry short and clean, dry towel needed to be thrown into the pool. I had warned him that if he misbehaved we would leave the pool, and as much as I wanted to stay and soak up the sun, I gathered our things and made him carry my wet towel all the way home. I know, what a mean mom I am. I just hate it when mom's discipline their kids by saying, "stop, that or we'll go home..." and then they do it again and they don't do anything but sit on their hiney. I had to follow through to get my point across, and I think I did.
We leave for FCA camp (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) on Sunday and we're gone until Friday. This is the fourth year we've gone, skipping last year because I was dilated and was not allowed to leave. We have a blast, there are child programs, coaches huddles, wives bible studies and the food is awesome. The only hard part for me, the nap Nazi, is being thrown off our schedule. Brody will probably miss his morning siesta and therefor be overtired for his afternoon one and then take a very short one and be cranky and then wake up a lot at night...and so on and so forth. Believe me, I have this all figured out. So I'm trying to take it in stride, bite the bullet, enjoy the free food and childcare and just plain suck it up. BUT let me tell you it's eating me up. I thrive off of routine and schedules and having someone else plan my day drives me bonkers. Deep breath....deep breath. It will all be okay.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Life is a highway

..I'm gonna ride it all night long....

Baylor: Lightening McQueen song again please (from the Movie Cars)
Me: okay
Baylor: Louder Please

Play. Repeat. Play. Repeat. Play. Repeat. You get my drift.
Apparently Baylor has found a new favorite song that we listened to over and over and over and over again on our way to an exciting adventure at the evil empire aka Wal-Mart. It was supposed to be "date" night for Lonnie and I but our sitter had to cancel. Our marvelous date was going to include quick bite to eat and then groceries. Instead it was shove food in the kids' faces as fast as we can so we can get to Wally world and back without interfering with bath time, bed time or the Bachelorette season finale and this is the longest run on sentence in the history of run on sentences and my English teacher would roll over in her grave...if she were dead which she's not...and I digress. Mission accomplished.
1. Groceries were gathered
2. Bath time was achieved...well, it was for Brody only and let me tell you why: POOP ON THE FLOOR. Yep. Take that kid's diaper off for 2.4 seconds and he shoots pee across the floor and then leaves a pile of doo on the welcome mat. Welcome to our house, here is our baby's poo. So he got a major scrub down...that is after he finished pooing in the tub. Then the tub got a major scrub down...but it was due for one soon anyways. Hooray for multitasking. Okay....
3. Groceries put away, dishes cleaned, Baylor in P.J's and Brody sleeping
4. Watched the very very end of Bachelorette and she picked the good guy!! Jesse the snowboarder. Even though he probably won't have a real job after his snowboarding, he was cute and funny and the real deal. Way to go Diana.
5. Got to use my new toothbrush in which I highly recommend. The Colgate 360. For that just left the dentist clean feeling.

We also bit the bullet and invested in a portable DVD player. I'm pretty sure we'll get major use out of it so it was a good investment. We also had to buy one of those digital converter boxes because we live in the stone age with no cable (I'm totally fine with this!) and bunny ears on the t.v. We are even redneck with tin foil on one of the bunny ears in hopes to add to our five channels. So when they switch to digital t.v, we'll be ready.

video

So here is a video of my darling son Brody. He's nuts. Here, he is trying to feed himself and then throws in his famous evil laugh....and yes, those are booze behind him....how do you think we get him to sleep at night? Crazy kid. Enjoy!!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

It's shower time


Ummmm, little Bro...people have to use that whipped cream.

Me and the little Bro...and by little, I mean age not size.

Giving Papa K a love squeeze.

My son (yes, he's mine even though he looks nothing like m!) and my bad hair.


What more could you want on a hot day? Face first through cold water.

...and then drinking it.

Feeding himself and loving every second.

Berkley and me...sweating...dripping...ewwwww in the heat today. Oh so bad hair day! We spent the day "scooping" ice cream in the nice air conditioning house...oh, you need more ice cream? Oh, let me!!!

Keri: 1
Spellcheck: 0 Ha! take that!!!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Boxes, duct tape and buns of steel...


...just makes you want to give him some candy doesn't it?

...wait, then he'll end up looking like this!!!

That's right. This is my butt. Lonnie proudly took this photo and has been boasting what a good photographer he is.....I guess I can't argue with that...just look at that thing....ROCK. :) C'mon, who else would post a photo of their rear for all to see....at least I'm proud....give me a few years when I'm wearing granny panties to keep everything from falling out. So I will embrace the firmness while I can.

...and the cutest kids in the universe. Duct tape and boxes, that's all we need.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Saying Goodbye

Today was bittersweet. We traveled to Independence to play a concert for their very fitting fourth of July celebration and then to Manchester to play at the house of one of our own. We band nerds have to stick together. We're like a family...okay, more like a very dysfunctional family, but nonetheless, we stick together. About two years ago one of our members Rick, was diagnosed with colon cancer and started aggressive chemo treatments at the Mayo clinic. He is a long time band director, husband and father of three young kids. He went through months of radiation and chemo and they thought they had him in remission but found another inoperable tumor that was blocking critical organs needed for digestion. This past week, they called Hospice and gave him around three weeks to live. So today, we packed up our stands, chairs and instruments and plunked ourselves right down in his backyard and played an encore concert just for his family and neighbors. It was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do in a while. We kept the music fun and lively but it was hard to ignore the intense sadness that invaded the faces of the people in the crowd. Rick sat amongst his family and neighbors and listened to the music, barely able to speak and walk, but managing to crack a smile in appreciation. I bit my lip trying to fight back tears and couldn't help think of his wife and kids. His youngest, barely two, will only have vague memories of her father. I didn't know how to leave his house today, weather or not to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes, but who doesn't? I don't know about Rick's salvation, if he was walking with the Lord and saved by the Grace of God. Surely the most important thing of all. So if you think about it today or tomorrow, just lift up his family in your prayers.

What would you do different if the Dr told you three weeks was all you had left? Would you spend every waking hour with your kids? Would you travel to places you've only dreamed about? Would you call that person you've been holding a grudge against and apologize? They say we should live each day like it's our last, which...sometimes I believe is true....especially when toddler chases you with a butter knife :) It just makes me want to hold my kids closer, kiss Lonnie and tell him I love him more often than I should and not take advantage of the days God has given us here on earth.

Okay, enough with the sad..bring on the happy! Speaking of...Happy Independence Day!!! Baylor spent the day with Grandma Kris, Papa Steve, Bri and Kort....driving them insane instead of me!!! He was in heaved and truly wore them out. When I came to pick him up, they were all laying on the floor and couch and Baylor was running circles around them. Welcome to my world folks, I think he sneaks some of my coffee in the morning! Lonnie and Brody got to spend some quality time together...enough so that Lonnie actually made the comment about sticking with two kids because we each can give them one on one time. He had the dishes done, kid bathed and laundry upstairs and I didn't even ask!!!! Major props to the hubby.

Tomorrow is the shower (part one) for our family and then Sunday shower (part two) is for friends. Looking forward to seeing everyone. I even get to wear a dress.....!!! Holy buckets.

Go hug your kids. Kiss your spouse....and then eat some chocolate.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Baylor Press and Nekkid kid part deux


This my friends, is how I get my workout. It's call the squirmy Baylor press and I highly recommend it.

If you're happy and you know it scream in a blood curdling high pitched wail.

As we speak....or more like as you read. Lonnie is standing behind me critiquing my choice of verbiage in this blog. I've shot him down successfully and even suggested he start his own blog. He says, "Sure, it will be called called men unite...and suggest things like a dishes strike and anti laundry tactics" You go right ahead sweet cheeks, the feminazi's will be on you like bloodhounds. He is however, rubbing my shoulders, so I can't say much. I'm always down with a massage that wasn't forced or done with one hand while watching Sports Center.

So Brody is in this stage of clinginess. If you know me (or are married to me) you know that I'm not a touchy feely kind of gal, except with my kids. I make a point to snuggle, love on, hug, kiss and tell them I love them tons everyday. Brody however, has made it almost impossible to enjoy being around him at any given moment. He won't let me out of his sight or play by himself without having a major baby freakout. I love him to death but HE's DRIVING ME BONKERS. I cooked dinner, did four loads of laundry and vacuumed all with a child clinging to my leg screaming. Not my idea of fun. I hope this is a stage...or teeth...or something else I can blame it on.
Lonnie and I actually got to talk last night after the boys were in bed. It was awesome. No fragmented sentences (except coming from me...I have ADD) or interruptions by screaming punks. We sat on our white porch rockers (found on the street corner and restored by me) and I sipped tea while we watched our slightly red neck and a little scary neighbors. (Just pray for them....and lock your doors) Anyways, we had the "kid" and "house" talk. Our feelings on adding another kiddo and when we were able to move out of this house. We were both still up in the air about bambino number three but agreed it would be a major financial step. (no Jen, no minivan!!!!) It also looks like we're in this house for another two years AT LEAST. I love my house (not the location) but the house is perfect (we're outgrowing it fast though) for us right now. I find myself dreaming about our future house but have to realize that we need to finish paying off my college loan first. We want to just have a mortgage and no other bills before we move out of this house. We want to fix this house up too, but are finding ourselves treading water financially and projects always seem to get pushed back. Not because we're unwise about money, because we just don't have my income anymore. Lonnie is the master budget man and is very good with our finances. Like I've said before, I am so proud of how hard Lonnie works and blessed that I get stay home and raise our kids. I've started thinking of extra ways to make some extra money and I know there has to be something for me out there. I do have so much to be thankful for, God has truly blessed us with health a house to call our own and an amazing family (including our Church family) We'll just have to keep praying and God will let us know when he wants us to make a move. His timing is perfect.

Okay, time for beauty sleep. All I have to say is good thing there is spell check because if you didn't think I was an idiot before...you would after you read my horrible misspellings. Hooray for spellcheck.

Wow, the neighbors must really be enjoying this view...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Football stars



Lonnie and Baylor playing "football" in the living room with their "football helmets"

...and this is the look I get when I ask him if he wants to wear big boy pants.

...I SAID NO BIG BOY PANTS MOM!!!!

...or I'll get you with this abnormally large stick that you happen to have in your living room.

Can you tell the potty training is going that well? Today the pee did not end up in the potty...Nooooo it was in his room on the floor and he was REALLY REALLY excited that he peed. Hey, at least he was thrilled at the aspect of making water in his place of rest. I'm still not sure what to do. Diapers until college for sure.

Must go...smell something burning...ewwwww something is melting in the dishwasher. Ahh, the joys of motherhood....but at least the dishwasher works again.