Hey, it's me...Brody....my mom is busy cleaning up after me so I thought I'd take the time to share some of my entertainment secrets with you. You see, my parents don't watch t.v anymore or even read books, they simply rely on me for all of their entertainment purposes. First, I'd like to give a tutorial on how to eat an apple...Brody style. Friends, I happen to be an expert on this seemingly mundane activity and it takes a special skill in which I possess. First off, you have to beg and whine for an "appee" or what you people like to call an apple. My mom usually doesn't like to give me a whole apple because well, you'll see. My big brother is great at eating apples, he eats the entire thing...including the core...someday I hope to accomplish this marvelous feat, but one day at a time. Once you've gathered your apple by any means necessary and by any means, I mean using special tactics like climbing on the kitchen table or pushing a chair up to the counter and crawling on it as well. I do what I can, I'm a rock star. Now, one would think that taking large bites would be your first choice in consuming this tasty juicy treat and I would have to disagree. I like to take tiny tiny little chipmunk bites and savor every one. Then, you must promptly spit these little chunks out, all over the house.....in little piles. See photo below.
The more piles you get and the more spread out throughout the house, the better. This makes it fun for mom when she tries to clean them up. She can always tell exactly where I have been in the house simply by following my trail of apple guts. I usually eat about half of the apple and then I discard the half eaten dog hair covered apple in a place where no one can find it. For example, the toy box, in the couch cushions or my personal favorite and the spot that it will sit for days....dad's shoes. Man, the look on his face when he sticks his feet in...priceless. My mom has had to hide the apples from me because I find it necessary to start this apple destroying process over and over again...all day long. Hey, I'm easily entertained, what can I say. Speaking of entertaining....this is another one of my favorite activities.
Table dancing. Sometimes my big brother joins me, even though he knows it's wrong. I prefer the kitchen table, but this coffee table will do just fine. It's even better when there is music playing because I can sure dance. I get this talent from my mother, she sure can cut a rug...or at least she likes to think that she can.
For my next entertainment suggestion, I think that you need to get dirty. I love getting dirty, it's my middle name....Brody Dirty...umm, just kidding it's Stephen but I would have voted for dirty if it was up to me. We were practicing writing our letters here at the kitchen table with dad's shaving cream. I'm not down with this writing thing yet so I decided to paint my face, far more exciting than writing a big "B".
Except when you get it in your nose. Not so much fun. Darn woman, put that camera down and help me get it out of my nose!
My bigger more disobedient bald brother decided he wanted in on the shaving cream face painting fun.
See, isn't he cute....don't let the bald head fool you. His middle name is Manipulator.
I hope you enjoyed my little diddy. It's about time for my a.m bm (morning poo for those of you that don't speak code) This can also be fun if you try to grab the diaper and the contents when mom isn't looking. I do this when I really want to hear her scream....mmmmmmm
Well folks, I'm here all week and I'm open to any entertainment questions you have, so feel free to ask. From destroying a perfectly clean room in less than 4.5 seconds to laughing so hard milk comes out my nose.