Sounds like a great movie title eh? Nope. It's the story of my life right now. DISCLAIMER: If you're not a poo kind of person, avert your eyes, cause this post has gots a lot of poo in it.
So Baylor was sick on Friday night with the pukes and since everyone knows after the pukes comes the poops. Ooooh baby, hold me back. He has not been himself, very lethargic, dehydrated and speaking very slowly. It's almost like someone slipped him a bud light. He got up enough energy to make it to Dollar General for his, "puke bravery toy" You know...for being so brave when the pukes hit. He got home and collapsed on the floor and curled into a little ball complaining that his tummy hurt. I felt his abdomen and it was hard as a rock and freaked out thinking it was appendicitis or a bowel obstruction. To have a bowel obstruction you actually have to have something in your bowel....which I'm almost certain he didn't, unless of course you count Gatorade and Popsicles. So I called my nurse mom and she told me it's probably gas.....sweet, I can handle gas. He let out a few good "squeekers" and seemed like he felt better. I put a diaper on him just in case (believe me, I'm thanking God right now for this!) So I carried him upstairs and put him in our bed to have him watch Thomas and Friends while I watched the short one destroy things.
"Moooooooommmmm, I'm wet!"
" Wet? did you pee?"
" Ummm, no"
So now for the gross part. I'm really sorry to have to do this, but I need to illustrate the severe grossness of my experience with you. So check out the photo below, minus the nice bread and garnishes.....yup, you guessed it. THIS is what was, "wet" and coming out of the front, back and sides of his diaper. Luckily, not on our sheets.
You'll never eat split pea soup again, and for that I apologize.
Anyways, it was the biggest batch of liquid poo I've ever seen and it made both of us gag. I didn't think that much poo could come from such a tiny little dude. Baby poo is fine, but three year old sick poo is not fine. So I'm on round two of disinfecting the bathroom. Seriously. I don't remember this part of the motherhood contract I signed.....