Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Cable guy!

One of my favorite movies (I'm not sure why though) is The Cable Guy, starring Jim Carey and Matthew Broderick. It's about this freaky cable guy that becomes eerily attached to one of his customers and wants to be best friends. The plot continues and gets even weirder, but with random sarcasm and a dash of light dry humor. Anyhoo, I had a little cable guy experience this morning and I'd like to share. Let me give you a good mental picture first, he looked exactly like Newman from Seinfield, except he was wearing a Mediacom hat. I will also disclaimer about cable guy, he was a very nice dude and did his job and in no way shape or form am I bashing cable guys, Internet dudes or Mediacom employees. They just need some manners.

Let me back up and tell you why we needed a cable/Internet guy.....our Internet (my companion and source of communication) was down since Sunday evening. (what did we ever do before Internet? Read? write? call people on the phone? jeepers!) So we call the company and they said that someone would be there Wednesday morning...between 8 and 12. Seriously....between 8 and 12!? So of course, I as supposed to wait on pins and needles until mister cable guy showed up within a time span of FOUR HOURS. I was afraid to shower, afraid to go anywhere for fear that mister cable guy would show up and I wouldn't be here to let him in. So 8, 9, 10, 11, 11:40, 11:45, then 11:55 rolls around ( I kid you not ) and I get the call. "Hello Ma'am, I'm *dude* and I'm here to fix your Internet" It so happened that ten seconds before he called, I checked the Internet one more time.....and low and behold...IT WAS WORKING. What the heck. So cable guy at the door....Internet feeling stupid. At least I could offer him a freshly baked sugar cookie while he tried to see what went wrong. I am trying to feed the boys in the other room and make friendly conversation to Newman, uh I mean cable guy. He then begins to talk...and it's all down hill from here....

Cable guy: So are these your day care kids?

Me: No, these are mine? (Should I take this as a compliment?)

Cable guy: really?! Looks like you have your hands full. How old are you?

Me: Um, 28. (trying to fix my hair and flash my wedding ring at the same time)

Cable guy: So what does your husband do?

Me: He's the head track coach and assistant cross country coach at Cornell.

Cable guy: Really, is that all he does?

Me: (Is that all Kirk Ferentz does? duh.) Yes, but it's quite a demanding job....

Cable guy: Really? How much does he make?

Me: (You have got to be kidding me?) Well it's not much, but it's enough for us to live off of and me to stay home with the kids.

He goes outside and I try to figure out what just happened. Clearly cable guy did not learn him some manners when he was growing up. Then mister manners comes inside. So I ask him about his family and then the following statements come out of his mouth.....

1. So you guys don't have cable,why not? (we don't really need it and we can't really afford it right now)

2. Sure you can....with this house and if you don't have any college debt.....blah blah (You lost me at THIS house...what do you mean THIS house?)

3. Oh, you do have college debt, went to have a lot of debt then.....(yes, but it's almost paid off....)

4. So if you don't have cable, what do you do at night? (seriously? Ummm, we talk....we watch non cable channels, we read, we use the computer, listen to music...and oh, then there are those two midgets following me around....they are pretty demanding)

So......nothing was wrong and the Internet was magically (and kind of suspiciously) working again BUT I did get to have marvelous conversation with a man who thought I was 15. Excellent. That is how my morning went. Man, I'm glad to have Internet back.

Yesterday was amazing. Simply perfect weather. It was nearly 75 degrees, sunny with a slight breeze. I took the boys to the park and we stayed for two and a half hours! They were so tired that they slept for three hours! I had to practically wake them up for fear that they would never sleep that night. We had a picnic and Brody demonstrated his love for all things daring. Baylor made a new friend and held hands with this girl and played all by himself (I have a feeling we'll be dealing with this girl thing later.....)


Anonymous said...

I don't look like Newman!

Janice said...

Ok the previous post is funny, but creepy if it was really your cable guy. I had a mom of one of Jarretts previous classmates stop by here not too long ago and assumed I had a daycare. Do they all really look that different? That was a pretty bizare conversation though and a whole lot way too forward.

Crazy Mom said...

This is how the conversation went in my head...feel free to use it next time...

"Daycare kids?? Heck no, we kidnapped them. Sssshh"

"What does my husband do? Well, since we're part of the federal governments witness protection program, I'm not really at liberty to say"

"Why don't we have cable? Well, we're afraid of big brother watching us, if you know what I mean. After that international spy stint in the Ukraine, we know how those 2 way 'watching' devises work."

"At night, since we don't have cable and apparently there's nothing much else to do, we whittle wooden blocks for toys for the needy. I'm sure you've seen our work..."

Crazy Mom said...

I know you liked my music. Even loud.

Andrea G. said...

You are hilarious how you tell a story!

Jill Kapfer said...

Creepy cable guy.