Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A new form of birth control

...and his name is Brody.
Seriously, this kid is going to be the death of me. I am desperately wanting to blame something....teeth? Maybe. Ear infection? No fever but a whole heck of a lot of snot. Puberty? A tad on the young side. PMS? Unless that stands for Pushing Mother's Sanity...then no. It has been a morning full of tantrums, high pitched screaming (which I contribute 89% of my hearing loss to) more whining, dramatic throwing of oneself on the floor and then rolling around and then a little bit more whining. He's pushed me over the edge....enough over the edge to eat a square of baking chocolate because I needed sugar so badly and there is nothing of the sort in the house right now. Sad, I know. (but inside I know you're giggling because you've done it too!) He also dumped an entire bottle of scented massage oil (more on that later) all over the mattress, pillows, floor and blankets. Ironically it was called, "stress relieving" massage oil. There went my stress relief.....
I can't take him anywhere in public because he does one or all of the following:
1. Refuses to or climbs out of the shopping cart
2. Grabs anything he can get his little hands on and shoves it in the cart (that's how I ended up with Just for Men, Macaroni noodles and a Lightening McQueen plate in my cart the other day!)
3. High pitched scream that dogs have been known to respond to
4. Fit throwing.....and you though girls were dramatic!! This kid better be an actor.
5. Defiance (yes, he's only 21 months but he certainly knows!)
6. His attention span is that of a puppy that just drank an espresso
7. Flirt. Yes, flirt. He flirts with girls of all ages. We're going to have a talk about this later.
I can't tell you how glad I am that nap time is finally here. If it weren't 2pm, I'd be drinking wine right now.

So about that massage oil. If you read yesterdays post about doing something that was unexpected that is what we both chose.....except for it was expected...just out of the ordinary. We dusted off this bottle of massage oil and I gave him a back rub and he rubbed my feet because I had just went running (talk about sacrifice!) We both kind of punked out on this dare, but hope to do something truly unexpected, thoughtful and maybe on the wild side later. Speaking of wild side....some of your comments...holy cow people, you are juicy. Thanks for the ideas though, I will store them in my memory bank.

So this weekend is Chalk the Walk. I've done it the past few years and decided that I needed to do it with someone else. So Diane and I are going to do a 12x12 square this year....and...uh, we still have no idea what we're doing. We wanted to do something original and obviously we like to fly by the seat of our pants when it comes to planning this out. I did a dinosaur on a tractor (as suggested by a certain three year old last year) and it turned out okay. I wasn't happy with it, but then again, I'm never happy with my artwork. So whatever we choose, I'm sure it will rock because Diane is an awesome artist...and we get to spend almost two days without children for more than an hour at a time!! Kim might even sneak in and help too, if we can drag her away from garage saling! It's a great festival and you should really check it out. You can even chalk a 2x2 square, which is part of the huge work in the middle (Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are) It's free too....what more could you want!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Vat of Potatoes;The Saga Continues

So after spending another Tuesday morning with Dr. Tom, my dentist, and not being able to taste or chew or feel, I took matters into my own hands. You see, I have this love affair with a few select foods and beverages. Good coffee, chocolate, deep rich things that make my butt big and mashed potatoes. I finally got the feeling back in my mouth and realized that I couldn't open my jaw very wide, but was famished. What's a girl to do? Make instant mashed potatoes of course. Last time I opted for a nice healthy soy milk smoothie.....not this time. This time, I will indulge in some major carbs to satisfy my craving and make that run tonight really count. So as I sit here typing, I stop once in a while to shovel a spoonful of taters into my mouth....that doesn't open very wide. The good news is that I'm done with the drilling for a while, the bad news is.....the bill. Shudder.

So we're on day 10 of the Love Dare. If you're keeping track we're a little behind (wish mine was) because of Lonnie's travels this weekend. So day 10 is love is unconditional. Meaning if someone says, "I have fallen out of love with you" what they really mean is, "I have never loved you unconditionally from the very beginning." Food for thought. The dare is to
do something out of the ordinary today-for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash their car, clean the kitchen, buy their favorite dessert, fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Sometimes we make our love based on our spouse's attributes, behavior or on our commitment. It's often hard to show love when it's not returned in the way you hope for. I am really having a hard time thinking of something to do for Lonnie that he wouldn't think was ordinary. Most of the things listed above are pretty ordinary and are done fairly often. Kind of like a , "what do you get a guy with everything?" Hmmmm. I've already come up with counter excuses for a few ideas like.....1. Make his favorite dessert (excuse: he's on a diet and has banned me from baking) 2. Wash the car (excuse: I don't have the car today) 3. Buy him something special (excuse: it's the end of the month and once car) So I guess I'm asking for some help from you (yes you...the person reading this blog, no matter whom you might be) Maybe it's the potatoes making my mind go blank, but I'm plumb out of out of the ordinary ideas!

And now for something completely different.....
We have Baylor's preschool open house tonight! Yikes! My child is going to preschool in the fall! Where on earth has the time gone? I'm already "fweekin out" as Baylor says. Since he is a very late summer birthday we put him with the three year old class that meets Tuesdays and Thursday mornings. I think this will be much better for him, seeing as he can't sit still for more than five seconds and he's a boy. A few of his teachers go to our church so that makes it slightly less intimidating. Either way, my baby is off to school soon!

Monday, April 27, 2009


It's what all the cool kids are doing.  

Okay, it's what I really need in my swimming suit top.  

Sad, I know.  At least my husband still loves me.  So I went on the annual dreaded swimming suit shopping trip this weekend and managed to drag my mom along.  We had fun being obnoxious in the fitting rooms trying on suits and snorting because we were laughing so hard at some of these contraptions.  Some had so too many straps,  others had large metal medallions in weird places and others were meant for 12 year old girls.  I did however, get strange looks from people passing by who would caught a glimpse of me feeling up the manikins. Hey, I had to get a good feel of the boobie area to make sure there was adequate padding! I need all the help I can get. Who knew it could be so stinkin hard?  First, I wanted to be modest but still cute and functioning (as in it has to stay on while I chase Brody around the pool) I finally settled on a Nike tankini.  It fits well and isn't too granny.  I am set for the pool.....or kiddie pool....or garden hose!  Speaking of are my two mud dwellers in their favorite spot in the back yard. 
The mud.  Digging for worms. 
And this is what happens when you itch your face with mud on your hands.  Try not to look so excited Baylor.  

We pull out my trumpet while I practice my cornet and Baylor loves to, "play along" (if you can call it that)  He actually does make a pretty good sound and we'll work on technique later :) 

I have high hopes for his trumpet playing skills!

Lonnie and I have a date tonight.  It was last minute but since he's going to be gone again all weekend, we figured this was the last time for a while!  So excited!! 

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Concert tonight!

Here it is! The new cd from the Eastern Iowa Brass Band!
Featuring the cornet section and yours truly. I wear my nerd badge with pride today.
We have our spring concert tonight (7:30 in the Mount Vernon Middle School auditorium) I have two tickets up for grabs if anyone wants to go! Just let me know (call, email, comment, smoke signals) It will be a stellar concert and I think all you locals should get your hineys out there on this rainy day and listen to some amazing brass. Seriously, it's not as dorky as you think. I dare you to to listen and not enjoy it.

I am running on empty....or three hours of sleep. I think my kids know when I need sleep the most and then revolt. They were both up from around midnight to three in the morning. We don't have central air and it was about 90 degrees upstairs, they were totally overstimulated and exhausted from yesterday so I'm blaming that. That...and their uncanny ability to steal my beauty sleep and Lord knows I need it. Tonight will be another late night and I have a new sitter so we'll see how things go. I pray for peaceful sleep without any crying tonight! I don't want to get, "the call" at the concert. Poor Lonnie got into Sioux City at 3 am last night so we are both in the same boat. I told him to spend the night and sleep in tomorrow because I'd rather have him drive awake and safe then get home grumpy and tired.

I did however manage to steal two hours to myself this morning and use a massage coupon that I'd been holding on to for dear life. Shannon and Alivia watched the boys (thank you thank you !) while I drove to Iowa City (very very slowly I might add..keeping my eyes peeled for mister state patrol) I enjoyed an hour long massage and could barely pull myself off the table when she said it was over. I wanted to give her a big hug, but I refrained. It was amazing. I really really really needed it.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Arrrrrrgh! It's Friday...pirate style

That's right. Even pirates wear pink. This is a manly pirate pink though. Baylor let his buddy Caleb have the more manly green pirate hat :) It was hot enough this morning to banish the shirts.

This is the typical pirate face.

A pirate is not a pirate without a garden claw....great for hitting older brothers with!
This pirate looks more like a biker dude, but what the hey.
We had Baylor's buddies over this morning to play and it was great. The kids played in the yard and the new tire (that needs a whole lot of sand!) became their pirate ship. It is almost 85 today! Unreal. After a few days this winter of -45, I will not complain about being hot!
It's just me and my two pirates this weekend. Lonnie has track and a class in Sioux Falls so we'll be hitting the town. Tonight we head up to Anamosa to visit another friend....with a bull dozer....and trains....and a gator....I can see their faces now. So excited.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Put your shades on you can view my legs.

W H I T E.
No, translucent.
I don't do tanning, but I'm seriously considering just placing my legs under the tanning bed.

It's warm today. Did you hear me....WARM!!!! Warm enough for shorts (hence the shades) and flip flops. I did what any woman would do when the weather gets nice.

1. Changed the oil in the mower
2. Drug my kids to the hardware store to buy a mower blade
3. Replaced the mower blade using my brute force.
4. Mowed.....a teeny tiny little patch. (I must wait until the boss gets home since he is the turf Nazi)
5. Planted onions
6. Watched Brody pick the onions and trample all over them
7. Cried onion tears (it's going to be a long summer trying to keep the short one OUT of the garden!)

I'm pretty proud of my accomplishments today (if you couldn't tell) and I'm even more excited that it's band night. I need a break...a musical break. Music without words.
Speaking of....we have our spring subscription concert Saturday at 7:30pm in the middle school auditorium. I highly suggest going. HIGHLY.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The need for speed

Otherwise known as not paying attention to your speedometer when driving at night and catching up to an unmarked state patrol. Yea, that's right. I have a little bit of a speed problem.

It was about that time.....the time that my husband saw coming a mile away. Time for Keri to get a speeding ticket. Oh, and did I get a speeding ticket. I deserved every penny of the $76.40 speeding ticket. Mister state patrol was nice enough to mark down my 72 in a 55 to 65 in a 55 so it wasn't a moving violation. Boy was I moving....and apparently NOT paying attention. Lonnie laughed and evil laugh, paused and then said, "you're totally paying for this."
My evening did not get any better, as always the case with me for some reason. Brody wakes up screaming at 2 am, wakes Baylor up and then I have two screaming children. I let them cry, thinking they'd work it out....ummm, no. I go into the room to check on Brody (me thinks he has an ear infection!) and Baylor freaks out and wants me to sleep with him. I put both of them back in bed, kiss them and walk out to excruciating wails. Ten minutes later Baylor comes out (which wake Brody back up and he begins to cry...again) asking for me to sing him Amazing Grace. I love the song, but NOT AT THREE IN THE MORNING!!! Ten more minutes later he comes out asking for water and I am armed with the spanking spoon and give out major threats (Brody is still wailing) One hour later, Brody still crying and Baylor is finally sleeping again. I cave in out of exhaustion and grab Brody, throw him in our bed and lay there wide awake until 4:30. Needless to say, I am exhausted but for some odd reason I usually get more work done (must be from those five cups of coffee) I cleaned the shed, yard and tilled the garden all this morning.

I am hoping for a better afternoon!! It has started off well with both boys sleeping....finally!!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Apple Bandit and the Blustery Day

I snapped this photo of our neighbor's garbage cans strewn about their yards because I found it mildly amusing this morning. They look like poor fallen solders. I supposed I could go out there and put them back....but taking a photo and then giggling is much more entertaining.

Oh yes, and this. This....pile of chewed apples. Give you one good guess as to who is the bandit who stole the apple (actually it was more like, "Baylor don't give Brody that know what happens." then, "Mom, I gave Brody my apple!" Great. Now visualize many many more piles of apple chunks laying all over my freshly vacuumed floor.

Muah-ha-ha-ha (insert evil laugh here)
Look, here is the guilty party now. I don't care how good apples are for you.....right now Brody is banned. The funny thing is, he won't eat an apple if you cut if up and peel it for him. He insists on stealing, chewing and spitting his apples. How do you like them apples?

One of their favorite hiding places....on top of the washing machine during spin cycle...strange children.
Dental Drama: Visit Numero Dos.
More like dental trauma. So today was day two of my adventure of fixing all my fillings and breaking the bank in the process. I had one filled and the other fixed this morning bright and early. Dr. Tom (not really sure what his last name, but Tom will suffice) was my dentist and when he went to inject the Novocaine into my lower jaw he traveled through my jaw muscles and hit a joint. I have never been in so much pain from an injection.....ever. My whole body tensed up and I had tears running down my face.
"Oh, looks like we hit something....think happy thoughts..."
I'll show you a happy thought....and it involves a choke hold on your neck. Just kidding, I'm not really a violent person...unless someone is poking me in the jaw with a very long sharp needle. So they resorted to the, "strong" stuff which then in turn made me numb until....just about twenty minutes ago. (The strong stuff makes me shake like a leaf too....sweet!) I tried eating but kept gnawing on my tongue and figured I should wait until I could taste. Hey, great diet idea!!! I'd make millions injecting peoples mouths with numbing stuff so they couldn't eat or taste or talk. This could possibly solve a lot of communication problems too.....I'm a genius. So it all turned out okay. I got some more fillings (gasped at the grand total) lost a few pounds and will be repeat next Tuesday for round three. I'm hoping my art sales rev up soon so I can pay my dental bills. Off to make more art.....if you haven't visited the website lately here it is:

Monday, April 20, 2009

Love is not irritable....

...but I seem to be 89.4% of the time...hmmmmmm. My reactions sometimes resemble a locked and loaded semi automatic weapon. I am not so proud of that either. The disco song, "freak out" also comes to mind. Now, I'm not saying I'm a freak....lets say high strung for lack of better words.
If you are walking under the influence of love, you will be a joy not a jerk. Ask yourself, "am I a calming breeze or a storm waiting to happen?"
I do believe the next hurricane will be named after me....hurricane Keri. Jeepers. There are two main causes of irritable behavior and those are stress and selfishness, both of which I am fairly certain I posses. Stress drains your energy and makes you become overworked and cranky (check!) and selfishness, where do I begin? Okay, selfishness is the heart of the problem.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34
This verse always kicks me in the gut because I know that when I get angry, the words that fly out of my mouth are usually whats really in my heart and it scares me (as well as the person that they are aimed at that rhymes with Bonnie and starts with and L) When love enters your heart, it calms you's that calming breeze rather than raging storm. So the goal this week (or the love dare for day six) is to respond to your spouse with patience and encouragement rather than anger and exasperation. I also tend to take everything very personal (must be a woman thing) no matter who or what or where or when. I guess this is a good goal for all areas of my life.
p.s the stinkin spell check wasn't working so I apologize for any words that were butchered in the writing of this post.

The stylist is in

Baylor was clearly concerned that I might cut his ears off, so I resorted to the bribery of a small child with one sugary sucker. His hair is very very fine so when it gets longer it looks fuzzy, that's why I cut it so often. We're (Lonnie and I) are also a fan of clean cut boys. So Brody went first and then after much persuasion, Baylor followed.

This is my favorite photo. (Dear Lord no, make it stop!)

He's asking me if I was finished in this one, but I had just started. I also had to plug his ears for him with one hand and cut with the other.

Smile's not the end of the world, it's just a hair cut.
So we figured out how much we save a year in haircuts. Lonnie and Brody get their hair cut about once a month and Baylor about every month and a half or six weeks. At $25 a pop for Lonnie and $13 for each kid, we figured we are saving a grand total of $573 a year. Really!!! Good thing I have boys! We also figured by not having cable we save around $750 and by having only one car we save another $800. That is a grand total of $2123 a year of savings. See, the little things do add up! Now I'm having fun with this.....okay, so a family of four goes out to eat once a week every month for around $20 each time (that's $80 a month and $960 a year!) Holy cow. I'm totally off subject aren't' I?
Today is rainy, but with rain comes nice green grass and the washing away of all doggie bombs in the back yard. The rest of the week is looking mighty promising with the temperature raising to almost 80 on Friday....I couldn't be happier! I have thrown in the towel with the triathlon training and will have to settle for road races simply because of lack of training tools (like a body of water and a bike) This doesn't mean I'm going to slack off on my training, but I will have to try again with the tri later. Road races aren't that bad and they're fun if they are local. I'm thinking Mt.Vernon's Heritage Day 5k, Solon Beef Days 5k and Lisbon's sauerkraut 5k. I ran yesterday morning before it got cold and plan on going tonight when Lonnie gets home from practice. It's also great motivation for swimming suit season which is fast approaching and I am in dire need of a new suit. I hate swimming suit shopping. Especially when emitting a freakishly white glow from the dressing room......ugh.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Just when you think you're ready to walk out the door...

This happens.

I mean, C'mon...who doesn't love to smear soap in their hair five minutes before walking out the door to Church this morning?

He looked so proud.

Saying, "uh-oh"
No kidding!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Don't rain on my parade

We (me and the brass band) spent the entire day in Prophetstown, Illinois for their sesquicentennial (say that fifteen times fast) celebration. The fun began at 6:30 am when a certain little boy gets in my face to share the news that he had, "STAYED IN BED!!!" Then dropped the midgets off at my parents house (bless their souls) and headed for the charter bus full of crazy brass band nerds like myself. They taught me how to text message (shhhh don't tell Lonnie) and make strange noises with soda cans. We drove about an hour and a half through a whole lot of nothing and ended up in the center of town only to be loaded on a flatbed semi to play in the parade. I was one of the lucky few that didn't have to ride because there wasn't enough room and I needed to save my chops (or at least I'd like to think that's why) We then played a concert in which my grandparents got to hear because they only live 15 minutes away (or 7 if Grandpa is driving) It was great fun and I am so thankful for my parents for enduring many hours with two kids so I could play. Go ahead and crack your band jokes now......
Here is a photo of last night from the Cornell concert.....look...a dress....shocking, I know.
No black dress would be complete without a super-de-duper cheesy smile. Please refrain from making comments about the translucency of my pale pale skin.
That concert went well too by the way. Two down, one to go! are you doing? Can't you see that I'm busy here with my pile of earth worms on your table?
Would you like to touch my worms mom?
Um, I'll pass. Thanks anyways.

Friday, April 17, 2009

My thwip thew thee dwentwist

Translation; My trip to the dentist (with very numbed lips and face) Nothing says good morning like an early trip to the dentist to have four, count em, four cavities drilled out. Yesterday started out with Novocaine injected drool fest. I did however, get to sit still for an hour, which is a record. My favorite part was when they stick cotton, a suction thingy, and their hands in your mouth....and then ask you a question. Seriously. Do you really want me to answer? I had ask the dentist if I would still be numb by the afternoon because I had about three and a half hours of cornet/trumpet playing to do that afternoon. So he decided that the appropriate time to ask me, "what bands do you play with?" was when he had all of the above in my mouth. After my answer he just smiled and nodded in confusion. I go back for three more cavities to be drilled and the most painful thing is the bill that will follow without dental insurance. We could probably buy Lonnie a used car with the amount that I have racked up in my mouth. That is what you get for postponing dental visits for three years....that and genetics. Good thing my art is selling or you might see my kidney on eBay tomorrow.

I think spring has finally decided to show up. It has been almost 70 the past few days (thus the lack of posting) and we have been outside playing, scooping doggie bombs and eating ladybugs. Unfortunately the boys decided to boycott sleep the past few nights too and I am so exhausted. Baylor has made it a very very bad habit to join whoever is sleeping in the big bed at three in the morning and Brody just cries about three times a night. I wish I could blame something like an ear infection or teeth but I just can't seem to find anything. I even laid the spankin spoon in the hallway last night to scare the bejeebies out of Baylor and it failed miserably. It failed because the person on the other end of the spanking (that would be me) was so tired she could barely open one eyelid to see what midget was climbing into bed with her. I'm not sure what it is with my kids and sleep, but it needs to be resolved.

I'm playing with the Cornell band tonight if you are all bored and want something to do. The concert starts at 7:30 in King Chapel and it's free. Woo hoo. I also get to wear a dress and I'm totally stoked. It's not that often that I get to change out of my snot encrusted jeans into something more ladylike! I intend to take full advantage of this.

Have a marvelous weekend!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Dude, lay off the cheese

....sorry for so much cheese in the past few days. It made you think about your own significant other didn't it? See, not so bad after all.

It's amazing today. Getting so much spring cleaning done! Too much work to write something intelligent or witty.

Enjoy the day!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Photos

Baylor riding Elvis the crazy mini pony.

He was thrilled to say the least.

Brody got his chance to play cowboy too.

Yea, got me some eggs.

The Easter express.
The kids hunted for eggs in the front horse pasture. I was assured that there hadn't been any horses in there for a while so they wouldn't, "accidentally" find a brown Easter egg.

The egg hunters in action.

My cousin's little girl Tilden and Brody.

Tractor driving.
Thumbs up dude.
My uncle Loren and Lonnie pushing the kids outside after lunch. Baylor quickly snatched up the pink swing..hmmmmm

It looks like Baylor is about to fly out of the swing, but never fear...he's locked in!

NOOOOOOOO!!!! MIIIIIIINNNNEEEE! (we see this look often)

Ooohhhh, eggs and really bad chocolate.

Hmmmmm, who is that hiding in the background in orange plaid pajama pants?

Love Dare, take two...

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Eph. 4:2
Last night after the Easter sugar high and cranky kids from traveling were put to bed.....after an hour of high pitched wailing and screaming for no apparent reason....Lonnie and I finally got to watch the movie Fireproof. I highly recommend it for any couple, it was wonderful and much needed. It really spoke to both of us on the need for work in our marriage. I can't speak for Lonnie but I feel like we had gotten so lazy and settled into a stagnant place. Where comfort is well...comfortable and pleasing and loving the other person might just be too much work. We had begun to put everything besides our marriage first and it was taking a toll. Work, kids, other activities and commitments have begun to pull at us from all angles and we have been ignoring the signs to get our butts in gear. In God's eyes, a marriage is forever and is worth fighting for, so even if we aren't on tumultuous waters, we will continue to fight no matter what. So we are going to do the Love Dare book ( and ) for the second time and stick with it. It will be tough for me becase I am a, "skimmer" when I read unless it's a really good book (remember I don't follow directions well ) so hopefully this will keep my attention long enough to really work at it and keep my heart in it. Here is my favorite line from day one's dare: Love will inspire you to be a more patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down and begin to extend mercy to those around you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
I'm fairly certain Lonnie has had to use the words, "settle down" more than once a day to me. So here is to being patient and settling down! Here are the lyrics to Warren Barfield's Love is Not a Fight.
Lock the door behind you, throw away the key.
Work it out together, let it bring us to our knees.
Love is a shelter, in a raging storm.
Love is peace in the middle of a war.
If we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door.
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for.
Easter was a blur. Photos coming soon. Brody has entered the fling yourself on the floor and scream bloody murder if we don't get our way stage. I'm not sure how I handled it with Baylor, but it's making my blood pressure raise.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Holy trantrums Batman!

I couldn't figure out why I was so exhausted this morning after my usual three cups of coffee and then I realized that I had spent the majority of the morning disciplining Baylor. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed and has pretty much stayed on that side ALL DAY LONG. Senor Grumpypants has taken all of my energy and I have even contemplated having him take a very long vacation in his room. Sometimes I need a time out so I can get away from the whining.

We had company for lunch and we're having company for dinner so this is probably why the sour behavior. I think kids can sense when we want them on their best behavior AND do their darndest to not act in a pleasing way. I thought having them play outside for long periods of time would be a great way to release the grump but it only lead to, "lets find every object that is sharp and painful and use it as a weapon against your brother." I did not find that amusing and neither did Brody. One bleeding cheek and bruised leg later......I finally had to stick a Veggie Tales DVD in and walk away for fear of imploding. I'm hoping I can use the "oh, he's tired" excuse but I don't know if that will fly. He needs a swift kick in the hiney from the man of the house (no, we don't kick our's a joke!)

But Brody seems to make me smile no matter what kind of mood I am in (even though he is a whiney pants too!) He let this big ole man fart out and giggled, turned to me and said, "ooooohhh, I toooooooted mom!" Typical male. Nothing like passing gas to amuse.

Cornell is having a home meet tomorrow and it's supposed to be nice out. I'm thrilled because it's going to be sunny AND Lonnie is close to home! So if you're in the mood for a good track meet, head over to the track. The running events start at 10.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Question of the day

Baylor: "Mom, is your poop pink because you're a girl?"

Me: "no, but it smells like roses!"

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Truthful Tuesday

Five truths. Go.

1. I give my boys a bath almost every night.

2. I recently found out that there is a sex offender living a block away and I'm a little freaked out. Luckily he's living there illegally and will be moving soon. I'm still freaked out.

3. I made brownies today just for the heck of it.

4. I have plants in the trunk of my car and I'm too lazy to walk outside and take them out.

5. My kids watched a John Deere DVD this morning simply because I needed time to peace.


Monday, April 6, 2009

Maybe it's a gift...

"Lonnie, do you know what happens when you leave Brody alone in the kitchen with a sticky substance?"
To the untrained eye, this may look innocent. If you look closer you can observe that it's in his hair and slathered all over hands, feet, clothes, table etc. I hope we learned our lesson dear.
It's Monday. It's 34 degrees. I NEED SPRING SOON. It's a crazy week. I have artwork strewn about the kitchen, it's Easter week, my house looks like a battle zone, the laundry pile keeps getting bigger and bigger and we're having company over on Friday. Yikes. I'm not even sure where to begin. Maybe if I use the force, everything will clean it self (including my children) I did get offered a paying gig to play my cornet with the Cornell band. Makes me feel special. So today I am basking in specialness.....and laundry.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunday snapshot

I love these punks. Just look at their cuteness. I captured them before violence erupted (see that ball in Baylor's a few moments, that would be the cause of major drama) These are their Easter shirts but since we'll be in Illinois for Easter, I thought we could bust them out a week early. I got them for $2.50 a piece at Target on the sale rack which makes them even sweeter. Still working on the pants, but Easter really isn't about the cute outfits. My mom scarred me for life by making us dress alike in flowery poof (sorry mom, I still love you) Along with my permed bangs and filly socks.....makes me shudder.

Alright, back to making art in the kitchen while these cute punks are still sleeping.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Birthday party table dancer

Who knew the stress of buying a birthday present for a four year old was so stressful! After standing in the toy section at Target staring blankly at toys and deciding between Star Wars vs. Ninja Turtles, we have come to realize what present buying dummies we are. What do you get a kid who has every toy imaginable? Baylor got invited to his first official bring a gift birthday party! It was at Cornell and they ran around the gym and played games in the wrestling room, ate pizza and cake and ice cream. What more could a boy want in a morning? Baylor had a blast. We also realized how much of a non structured loner he is. As we watched him with the other kids, he quickly distanced himself and played in his own little world. Pre school should be interesting. At least he kept his clothes on!

The other child has taken up the art of table dancing. He also decided that peanut butter is great for the complexion (not so good for the clothes!)

Supposed to get a winter April. I'm not happy about that. I am happy that we get to watch Mason tonight so his parents can enjoy some time alone. We're going to teach him how to defend himself :)

P.S check out my art blog, I just added some new artwork!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Why are you naked?

Do you ever find yourself asking that question to one of your children? (or your spouse for that matter....not that your significant other should be prancing around in the buff...never mind) I swear I ask that about 14 times a day to Baylor.

"Why are you naked?"

"Where are your clothes?"

"Go find your clothes!"

"You put your underwear where?"

I get such a simple honest answer.

"Because I just wanted to be naked mom."

I think I'm raising a nudist!
Happy Friday. Go be naked.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Where my Peeps at?

Yo, here they are. Nice and stale, just the way I like them. I always get a box for Easter, remove them from the box, then let them sit out for about a week and a half until they can be classified as a mineral or rock. Mmmmmmm, perfecto. These are a little mauled thanks to Brody. I had to save their lives out of the sticky fingers of the Tasmanian devil.
Well, it's snowing again. Isn't is supposed to be spring? That's what I thought. We decided to make bird feeders anyways. Here is Baylor rolling pine cones in peanut butter and then bird seed. I would give this project a 6 on a mess scale of 1-10. Brody helped....uh, clean up. He licked the peanut butter, licked the pine cone, licked the bird seed and then licked the table. What can I say, he's a clean freak like someone else I know.

Speaking of the little monkey. Here he is sitting in my crock...yes, I said crock. It's an antique but we use it to store magazines and small children.
What a crock.

It's band night yo.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Pee in the shoe and other musings

Thoughts for today. Too much to do, too much on my mind.

1. On Sunday, Baylor deemed it necessary to relieve himself in my running shoe. He hid behind the chair and then came back with a huge grin on his face. I picked up my shoe only to find about an inch of urine dripping out of it. Try to discipline when you can't stop laughing....

2. While riding in the car today, I watched this teenage girl text message while driving. She rarely looked up. It infuriated me. The safety of my family is at the hands of a teenage idiot. So if you text, don't do it while driving.....or you deserve a big spanking or a non life threatening collision to get your act together! U R AN IDIOT.

3. My husband took the morning off and we took the kids to the germapalooza aka the indoor play area at the mall. My kids were awesome. I couldn't be prouder of their behavior....Lonnie behaved pretty nicely too.

4. I am working on commission artwork for a friend from high school. It should be cool...if I can ever find the time to work on it!

5. I really really really need it to get warmer out. We want to play outside and I want to start my garden planning. A little sun on these pasty legs would be nice too.

6. Our brass band spring subscription concert is coming up on Saturday April 25th at 7:30pm. I think you all (if you're around) should go. It's a great date night and if you think you won't like it, I dare you to try one concert first.

7. Both of my kids slept through the night and didn't get out of bed until seven! This was MUCH needed.