Friday, January 30, 2009

Never fear...we're alive...barely!

I've received some concern for our well being because the blog has not been updated.....two words.

STOMACH FLU.

(which technically isn't the flu, it's a Gastrointestinal virus, but either way...it sucked)

Baylor: Friday
Lonnie and Brody: Tuesday
Keri: Wednesday.

I have never cleaned up so much puke and poop from sheets, walls and myself...ever ever ever. I never ever ever want to do it again. I suppose this comes with the territory though huh? Brody is still throwing up any solid food...crackers, red Gatorade (not cool on the carpet) toast...and is not recovering as quickly as we'd like, so keep him in your prayers.

Thanks to my wonderful friends who brought us soups and pedialyte and Popsicles...you guys rock. I could tell you cared by the fear on your faces when you stepped on the porch, dropped the goodies off and then ran like your pants were on fire....don't worry, you can't catch it from our porch. No really, we REALLY REALLY appreciate all the care we've received.

So in the spirit of the movie The Devil Wears Prada, "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." I lost 8lbs with the worst diet I've ever been on.

Blech.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Revenge of the poo

Sounds like a great movie title eh? Nope. It's the story of my life right now. DISCLAIMER: If you're not a poo kind of person, avert your eyes, cause this post has gots a lot of poo in it.
So Baylor was sick on Friday night with the pukes and since everyone knows after the pukes comes the poops. Ooooh baby, hold me back. He has not been himself, very lethargic, dehydrated and speaking very slowly. It's almost like someone slipped him a bud light. He got up enough energy to make it to Dollar General for his, "puke bravery toy" You know...for being so brave when the pukes hit. He got home and collapsed on the floor and curled into a little ball complaining that his tummy hurt. I felt his abdomen and it was hard as a rock and freaked out thinking it was appendicitis or a bowel obstruction. To have a bowel obstruction you actually have to have something in your bowel....which I'm almost certain he didn't, unless of course you count Gatorade and Popsicles. So I called my nurse mom and she told me it's probably gas.....sweet, I can handle gas. He let out a few good "squeekers" and seemed like he felt better. I put a diaper on him just in case (believe me, I'm thanking God right now for this!) So I carried him upstairs and put him in our bed to have him watch Thomas and Friends while I watched the short one destroy things.


"Moooooooommmmm, I'm wet!"

" Wet? did you pee?"

" Ummm, no"


So now for the gross part. I'm really sorry to have to do this, but I need to illustrate the severe grossness of my experience with you. So check out the photo below, minus the nice bread and garnishes.....yup, you guessed it. THIS is what was, "wet" and coming out of the front, back and sides of his diaper. Luckily, not on our sheets.
You'll never eat split pea soup again, and for that I apologize.
Anyways, it was the biggest batch of liquid poo I've ever seen and it made both of us gag. I didn't think that much poo could come from such a tiny little dude. Baby poo is fine, but three year old sick poo is not fine. So I'm on round two of disinfecting the bathroom. Seriously. I don't remember this part of the motherhood contract I signed.....

Monday, January 26, 2009

Monday's Musings

Here are some random thoughts for the day, because my brain is mush because of all of the bleach fumes....

1. Have you ever wondered if the security code words you have to type in to leave a comment on someones blog are actually words? Some of them are mighty amusing.

2. Why is it, that when you take 12 hours cleaning the house your children take 1.2 seconds messing it up.

3. Does it really annoy anyone else when people start typing using text shorthand? No wonder our kids can't spell....does it really take that much longer to type, "you are" rather than U R? Maybe I'm just getting old.

4. I was really excited to take a hot bath last night...until the vision of floating poo entered my mind from the previous 15 minutes of Baylor's bath. Ewww. No bath for me.

5. Don't you wish jelly beans had as much nutritional value as real beans?

6. I have always wondered the complexity of the toddler mind and wonder what goes through his head when he throws toys in the toilet and sticks pencils up his nose?

7. I drank too much coffee this morning to take a nap, but without it I can't function in the morning. The sacrifices we make. I'm not the napping type anyways.

8. I am very thankful for my friends who brought me little gifts for my birthday and brightened my puke filled weekend.

9. One of the highlights of my day is the five seconds it takes to walk to the mailbox (usually in my p.j's) to retrieve the mail. Even if there are bills, sometimes I get a new magazine...and that is like Christmas!

10. Another highlight of my day is when my kids are sleeping and everything is clean and put away and I'm just curled up in bed watching mindless t.v.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Answering the call of motherhood on my birthday


Here I am in my Amote preschool photo. I'm 4 in the photo. Yesterday I turned 28. Ohhh baby.

Yesterday I also spent the entire night and day cleaning up vomit. Happy Birthday to me.

I just want to give a HUGE shout out to my mom, who first of all endured lots and lots of labor without any drugs, to produce my cute little self. Who also spent many birthdays cleaning up barf, taking care of fevers and chills and spent many sleepless nights to take care of her babies. You rock mom. Thanks for taking Brody yesterday while I took care of his big brother.

So to make a long and painful story shorter...we come home from setting up for the home track meet on Friday night, everyone is tired and cranky and the boys go off to bed at seven. Midnight rolls around and I hear coughing and sputtering and crying from the baby monitor and I fly out of bed knowing what to expect. Poor little Baylor laying in a pile of puke with more on the way, so I grabbed him and ran to the bathroom. Needless to say, the walls, bed, pillows, carpet, floor and Baylor are all covered. Did I mention that I DON'T DO PUKE? He was terrified and had a right to be, since this was only the second time he'd gotten sick, the first he was a baby and ended up in the hospital. Did I also mention WE STILL DON'T HAVE INSURANCE!!!! Well, it was a very very long night of sleeping on the bathroom floor holding a poor little boy who was throwing up every half an hour over a bucket. He is doing a little better this morning...even asked for a sprinkle donut, but we'll stick with clear liquids first. I felt so helpless and even though it sucked because it was on my birthday, I wouldn't be anywhere else but taking care of MY baby. Please keep us in your prayers as we still don't have insurance and if little Brody man gets this, it can't be good (and we really don't care to get it either) I have bleached every hard surface in the house in hopes of minimizing the chances of contact but we all did share a pop Friday night...joy. Thanks for your birthday wishes too!

Friday, January 23, 2009

I would hate to get attacked by this...

Me: Baylor, what is that dinosaur over there?

Baylor: It's a CRAPASAURUS

Me: Wow (trying not to wet myself because he was completely serious) that's a great name, what about that one? (pointing to another dino)

Baylor: That's a CRUDASAURUS

Where does he come up with this stuff?

So I got to spend the morning with a dear friend, my old neighbor from when I was growing up. She made us breakfast and coffee and it was awesome. Baylor contently played with his crapasauras as Brody licked her windows and attacked her dog, what's new. She bought me Valentine Socks for my birthday. They rock. I have them on now. They make me feel Valentiney. She is super crafty as well and always inspires me to do more projects (which can be mighty dangerous) when I leave. So my new project is painting the kitchen walls. They are currently a boring yellowish creamish color. I love color (just come to my house) and I don't want to be boring. I live in my kitchen so it has to be a color that makes me happy. My dilemma is that I have cobalt blue tiles on the back splash and the counters are this blueish grayish purplish (believe me, I didn't pick them) Soooooooo I need some ideas. I love everything retro too and funky. Kitchens should be a fun place to eat and hang out in, not stuffy and the same as everyone elses. Bring on the funk. Is that a song? I think it is. Anyways, I need a little help here...so your suggestions would be lovely. Here are some photos to get your creative juices flowing....






Oh yea, my kitchen is ALWAYS this clean...... :)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Betcha didn't have this conversation today...

Me: "Baylor, what are you doing naked?"

Baylor: "Oh, I'm shaking my booty" (watching his reflection in the t.v)

Me: "Oh really, you like dancing naked?"

Baylor: "Yea, I like to see my penis dance."


Wow. How do you respond to that?!!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Jane Fonda called....


...and she wants her workout outfit back.


...and her shoes.

As you can see, my children obviously get their fashion sense from their father. But, hey...at least they are clothed (even if it is partially) in these photos. We were beginning to be known around these parts as the family with the naked children. It could be worse....could be the naked family.

The in-laws are gone, it was short but sweet. I spent all night with two children in my bed and shot up at the sound of any strange noise. You see, my mom watched them on Sunday and then came down with the nasty stomach flu. I happen to be a big worrier when it comes to that stuff....like give myself an ulcer worrying. I freaked out. Disinfected the entire house, but it's probably too late. I know if we get sick, we get sick....but I still freaked out. The prospect of getting the stomach is one of my biggest fears. Call me crazy, but I just don't like it. So I got about two hours of sleep last night, everyone seems to be fine (except me of course, I'm on my third antacid) I'm sure we'll all be just groovy, puking or not. I think it's time for a little rest.

Monday, January 19, 2009

They cometh bearing gifts

The in-laws that is.

I think my kids think that every time they come, they get toys.

Which is true. They do. They love it and so do I.

So Mike and Lila (Lonnie's parents) are here for a few days visiting us on their way home from Minnesota (visiting their daughter Kim and hubby Dirk) They said the low up there was -50!! I guess our -39 doesn't even compare...it did however crack our living room window, bummer. We'll figure that one out later when it's warmer. Anyhoo, the boys are in heaven with new loot and tons of attention. We're going to hit the Sleep Inn hotel pool tonight, so if you drive by and see a white streak in the window...that's me baby. Feel free to shield your eyes.

They also came bearing chocolate. Can I get an Amen. My thighs will hate them later, but I will savor the decadence now.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Don't poke us with knitting needles.


Macey looking out the window, contemplating barking at random moving objects.


We're cute gosh darn it, but we shed like there's no tomorrow.

What? Huh? You want me to lick your face after I just licked my hiney? Sure thing, boss.

To Whom it may concern (or the little punks that run around with sharp objects in OUR house):
My fellow dog Macey and I need to address a few things. We sure have put up with a lot of crap from you humans, but this, "incident" has crossed the line. You let your children ride us, pull our tails, poke our eyeballs and pretend we're fire breathing dragons...and what do we do? Nothing. Okay, so maybe we growl occasionally, but you would too if a certain baby wanted to check out your tongue. A few weeks ago, two very sharp knitting needles entered the house (I believe the crazy lady wanted to learn how to knit....and failed, but at least she tried) So about those sharp needles....your son seems to think they make a perfect dog poking device. Not cool. We can't take it any longer, they must go. The children that is. They've taken our spot in bed...remember when we used to get to snuggle under the covers? That's right, they're outta here. We were here first and claimed this pad a long time ago. I know we haven't been the greatest animals to live with, but you'd puke all over the house if you ate a pound of butter pecan fudge. I speak for both of us when I defend the fact that dried dog terds a far easier to pick up. Accidents happen okay? We're not getting any younger and we'd like more attention please...and if that means getting rid of tweedle dee and tweedle destoryer, so be it.
We still love you and will always lick your face when you lay down on the floor and we'll always jump up on your clean pants with our dirty paws. We'll even pee on the kitchen floor once in a while. Heck, we will still eat your kid's dinners off the table before they even sit down. It's the least we can do. If the kids don't go...the knitting needles have to. Hide those stinkin things!!! It's about time your children figure out that THEY ARE NOT TOYS or dog poking devices. We've been poked and prodded far too much and it has to stop. We put all four paws down.
Sincerely,
Chloe and Fatty (Macey)





Saturday, January 17, 2009

Say Cheese-ah


I think he's getting mom's green eyes, but they seem to be changing every day....just like this little punk. Um, yea that's a dog hair hanging from his mouth...at least it wasn't stuck in between his butt cheeks.

This is what I came around the corner to...Brody,"washing" the dishes. Actually, the destroyer was trying to toast my dish scrubby in the toaster oven. Say cheese! (then he says, "HA HA HA..which means HOT HOT HOT!") Notice the heater by the sink...we were trying to make sure the pipes didn't freeze again. Fun times. Heat wave today....26!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

The Friday 15: Random movie quotes

Hooray for random movie quote Friday. I wouldn't consider myself a movie critic or anything crazy like that, seeing as the only movies I watch involve talking vegetables, a duck with a speech impediment and a sloth named Stu. So here goes, in no particular order. Extra credit given to anyone who can name the movie quotes.

1. "You dropped your rock."
2. " Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
3. "Put the lotion in the basket" (this one is for Josh)
4. " Names Barf. I'm a Mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend."
5. "Badges, we don't need no stinkin Badges."
6. "We're women. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it."
7. " You tit. I soiled my armor I was so scared."
8. "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking?"
9. "Why do I have to be the poo checker?"
10. " I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!"
11. " I got off that boat with nothing but my dancers belt and a tube of CHAPSTICK!"
12. " Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
13. "What about Brett Fav-ruh?"
14. " You'd better watch it, Dr.Death, I'm pretty damn fast for a Caucasian."
15. "You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."


WELCOME TO ANTARCTICA aka IOWA: We're having record lows these past few days...and that is without windchill. Last night when I was driving home from band, the air temp was -22!!! It's so cold that your nostrils freeze together and it hurts to breathe outside.

Spring can't come soon enough!!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The pitter patter of little poopie feet...

You heard me.

POOPIE FEET.

What are poopie feet? Glad you asked.

They are when a three year old poops in his pull-up and decides it doesn't feel so great and decides to take it off.....and then sticks his feet in the poop. He then decides that he wants to come inform the parental unit and walks to my room.....leaving poopie footprints all over the carpet....at 6am.

MARVELOUS.

This my friends, is how I started out my day. BUT it got increasingly better because 1. My pipes did NOT freeze in the -30 temps last night and 2. We got to get out of the house and play with other children (it's been about a week and a half since my kids have seen another child...no joke)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

This is what happens when we're let out of the house...

It was a dark and snow stormy night...

Um, yes...that is, "The Big Book of Breasts" we're looking at....strategically placed I might add.
Okay, back to my story....
It was a dark and snow stormy night, the winds howled as the snow plows rived their engines in anticipation of the blizzard. The impending doom of snow didn't stop these three cooped up mommies. No, they risked life and limb to immerse themselves in strange books and drink tasty overpriced hot beverages. No one could stop them from having adult conversation (mostly about their children and their bowels, but adult none the less) and enjoying this precious time out of their houses. They concluded that this event needs to happen......a lot more. This, my friends, is what happens when you let moms with intense cabin fever out of the house. We start looking at books with large boobies in them.....weird, I know. We were convinced we were going to get kicked out of Barnes and Noble, which actually would have made a great story.
Well, hello Clint (Diane) and uh, Clint (Chelsey)....Crazy women.
So we decided that Brody no longer needed his high chair, however I did enjoy the whole containment aspect of it. He wanted to be like big brother and sit...or stand, at (and sometimes on) the dining room table. This is what I see when I look across the table at him (he's sitting) Makes me giggle. Perfect height for shoveling food right in the hatch.
...or totally sneaking chicken nuggets to the dog....little punk.
This is what we woke up to this morning. Another 10 inches of snow (that makes about 2 feet on the ground) See our mailbox? It's barely sticking out of the snow! I spent an hour clearing a spot for Mister Lisbon Mailman to make it safely to our mailbox....approximately 10 feet on each side according to the postal service guidelines. Did it all by hand...with a shovel...take that snow blower dudes. Got me a good workout too.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I choose fudge.

Once again searching the house for something chocolate to eat when I remembered the large hunk O' fudge that my aunt made us for Christmas in the freezer. The angels are rejoicing with me. I looked at my choices...carrots, pretzels, broccoli and fudge. It was a no brainer folks.

I chose the fudge. Life is too short to pass up large chunks of chocolate.

So I got another one of those, "getting to know you" surveys in my email. I thought to myself...hmmm, I could try to scare my readers away even more with random nuggets of information not pertained to their lives and quite possibly bore them to death OR tell them about how I opened the one piece of mail today and needed CPR. You guessed it...it was the heating bill. So I opted for fun over moping. Here goes. Sorry to bore you again.

1. What is your occupation right now? Well lets see...chauffeur, chef, launderer, maid, nurse, barber, coach...but you can call me mom, and I've been meaning to talk to management about my salary. I'm also an artist.
2. What color are your socks right now? Blue with stripes
3. What are you listening to right now? The space heater suck the life and money out of our pocketbook, but it sure is warming up my hiney.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Well, I'm drinking a mocha using this mornings left over coffee and then there's that large hunk O' fudge. I'd rather not think about that though.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Heck yes! I love stick shifts and would have one right now if it weren't for a certain other adult that shares this house with me that cannot drive a stick shift. I won't drop any names though. I learned to drive on a tractor....only in Iowa.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Actually,I think she smells like Italian sausage soup.
8. How old are you today? I turn 28 on the 24th baby.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Track and Field and then football. When March rolls around I like a little madness here and there.
10. What is your favorite drink? A good (I'm not talking gas station here) coffee. I'm a coffee snob like that.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Must we revisit that traumatic time....blonds do NOT have more fun and neither do girls with maroon hair.
12. Favorite food? Anything that makes my hiney jiggle. (mashed potatoes, chocolate, deep fried macaroni and cheese and rare steak)
13. What is the last movie you watched? Well, if we're getting technical, I haven't been to a theatre in almost 2 years. The last movie I watched was Land Before Time....46 minutes ago. An hour and a half of my life I can never get back.
14. Favorite day of the year? Birthday baby.....did I mention it was next week?
15. How do you vent anger? Two words: Freak out.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? This awesome doll house my mom made me, she even cut every shingle out of sand paper...she rocks.
17. What is your favorite season? The end of summer beginning of fall.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? sure, telling me how fantastic I am.
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Who ever wants to procrastinate laundry and cleaning the kitchen.
21. Who is least likely to respond? Why must people always ask this ridiculous question.
22. Living arrangements? The hubby, the boys and the dogs in a very cold 100 year old house, it's perfect.
23. When was the last time you cried? Crying is for babies or premenstrual women, neither of those fit me right now.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? I have a floor in my closet!!!!!!
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Not sending it punk, quit asking me that.
26. What did you do last night? Tried to sleep until 2am when Lonnie woke up and remembered he had left Cornell's vacuum cleaner by the pole vault pit and thought he would get in trouble for it soooooo he drove through a blizzard to go put it back. Then at 5am a little munchkin named Baylor decided that he wanted to snuggle (he's been doing this every day!!!!) I love snuggling, just not at five in the morning. So I repeat...tried to sleep.
27. What are you most afraid of? something happening to my family, not doing what God wants me to, drains, snakes and big ugly pimples.
29. Favorite dog breed? Beagles of course....except the ones that don't shed, pee on the floor, bark or scratch my floors.
30. Favorite day of the week? They all just blend together....
31. How many states have you lived in? Iowa....and Iowa...and let me see....uhhh, Iowa. I lived in Branson for two summers does that count?
32. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
33.What is your favorite flower? Lilacs

Monday, January 12, 2009

Yoooooou can duuuuuuuu it

So I got a few comments about the ab workout and I want to give you all a motivation speech or some sort even if you didn't ask for it. First I will answer a few ?'s

1. Yes, the scary dude with the ab ball is floating.....freaky isn't it? You too can float while doing abs, just drink 18 cups of coffee beforehand.

2. How do I find time? Time? What is that? I try not to make excuses for not having time for things I love (not that inflicting painful exercises on my body is my idea of a good time) BUT, I find time. I don't do these every day, just every other day. I also do them in spurts....like while the boys watch Sesame Street, I do the first five. Then when they nap or are contently playing (which by the way, is getting SOOOO much better!) I do the final five. I am however, the queen of multitasking, so keep that in mind...it's a gift...a gift that makes me crazy and somewhat anal.

Okay time to motivate.....ummm, errr...huh, I got nothing spectacular, but I know you can do it and I know you will find time if you truly want to. No pressure, just a fun challenge. There is hope for the front butt!

So yesterday I helped my husband coach a track and field clinic for high school kids. I was in charge of the hurdlers, but it's been five years since I've hurdled. He had faith in me, as I was a little nervous with the drills. All went well, I even demonstrated...and now I am paying severely for it.
I
CAN'T
MOVE.
No joke. Yes, I've been running and working out...but not hurdling! Yikes. I needed serious help to get out of bed this morning. Oh yeah, I remember those muscles....the memories of the first week of track or soccer practice came flooding back. It's a good sore though and everyone loves a good sore. Anyways, I'm totally excited to coach the next two Sundays. Still working on the logistics of training for a triathlon in the spring/summer.

Did I mention we're having a blizzard right now? Yippee.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Core Ab workout


First I wanted to include this nice photo of my abs.

Okay, okay maybe these are the abs I dream about. Anyways, as promised here are the core ab workouts I have been doing every other day. I'll try to give some explanation, feel free to ask me any questions. I'll start out by answering your first two questions. 1. No, those aren't my abs and 2. Nope, those aren't mine either, but I wish they were.

You'll do each number of reps in a circuit three times, or until you can't move from the pain and laughing is nearly impossible. These work your core (abs, back, glutes, obliques) rather than just your abs. Your core is very important for any form of exercise.

Glute Bridge. Hold for 30 seconds, with both feet on the ground and then march (seen above) each leg ten times.


Oblique or side plank. Hold for 30 seconds, each side. This dude needs to raise his hips higher, it just looks like he's posing for the camera and not doing abs.
Lying L's. You can use a small weight ball if you want. Keep your shoulders on the ground and rotate your legs in an "L" shape, right to left. (3x10)

Reverse crunch. Great for lower abs, your baby holding pooch or, "front butt" as one mother so lovingly put it. Keep your shoulders on the ground and roll your hips up, with your knees slightly bent towards your chin. (3x10)



Superman plank: Keep your body parallel to the floor and your hiney tucked in. If you stick it in the air or let it sag, you're cheating. This is great for your abs and more so for your back. Hold for 30 seconds.
Leg lifts: with or without ball. Squeeze a ball in between your ankles and lift legs straight up and down. Keep your shoulders on the ground. (3x15)



Hip thrust. While keeping your shoulders on the ground, lift your booty, hips and legs off the ground. Also another one for the lower abs. (3x15)



Regular crunch on ab ball. If you don't have an ab ball, I would highly recommend getting one. They are great for saving your back and you get more bang for your buck when you do abs. You can also use them for other exercises. They also make superb toys for young children and are great for stretching them out too! (3x15)


Bicycles. Alternate opposite elbow with opposite knee. (3x10)
Alternating supermans. Opposite leg with opposite arm. (3x15)
You can do one, two or three sets of these. Make sure you stretch afterwards (lay on tummy and pull your head towards the sky)
Have fun!




















This kid cracks me up


Brody man, our mini entertainer. Makes me giggle, makes me laugh but mostly makes me wonder what he's up to. This age has it's frustrations but I love seeing him in action and seeing his face light up when he discovers something new. Like today when he realized that he could flush things DOWN the toilet, so he stood there putting little chunks of toilet paper down, flushing and waving "Buh bye!" I found a towel, cup and bath toy in the toilet upstairs. Those toilet locks that I laughed at are becoming more of a reality.

He insisted on swinging while we were outside enjoying the 10 inches of snow we received on Friday. One happy camper, he loves that thing.

Tough man....in an eighties snowsuit. It looks like he should be standing by a big buck holding a shot gun and grunting.

Safety first.
ooooohhhhhhhhhh, look at this sparkly white stuff!

Okay, too close.

It took me twenty minutes just to get that thing on!


BUGGY! Trying to find bugs in the snow....good luck with that.
He is feeling better, still a little wheezy today, but tomorrow is another day. Our last day of steroids and then a possible Dr visit if he's still coughing (fingers and legs crossed that we don't!) Baylor is coming down with his cold and it goes to his ears instead of his chest. He still has one tube left, so hopefully is will continue to work. Thanks for all of the prayers and calls today, you guys are awesome and we are blessed to have such loving and caring people in our lives.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

Dance Machine

Now if this dancing machine doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will. I taught him those smooth yet somewhat spastic arm moves.

So Brody man has been sick with a respiratory virus that has moved into his chest....big surprise. Since he doesn't have insurance, I was almost positive (thanks Murphy's law) something or some illness was going to strike while they were un-insured....and it did. We have plenty of breathing treatments left for his nebulizer, so I have be frantically giving those to him, but he continued to wheeze and cough. His cough was starting to sound croup like so I began to panic last night. The doctor had given us some prednisone, a very strong steroid, to help with the cough. Unfortunately, Brody man decided that he would throw it up every time we tried to give it to him. I tried everything, honey, syrup, soda, orange juice, ice cream, you name it. We tried again that night, of course after dinner..duh! which was projectile vomited right on my mom. I will never eat a hot dog with mac and cheese again. He woke up this morning and was really wheezy and his chest was pulling (which means he was having difficulty breathing) after his breathing treatment he was a little better. I called the Dr. and tried to get him to switch the syrup to a pill, which was so nasty Lonnie wouldn't even try it so, I don't blame the little dude for puking it up. Long story short, we got the medicine in pill form so we could crush them up and try to disguise them in food. Finally, finally, finally, after chocolate, ice cream, chocolate covered cherries and cottage cheese, the winner was honey. The little man had more sugar in two hours then he's had in his entire life, but we got the medicine down! Hopefully we will see results. Baylor is coming down with his brothers cold gunk too, oh joy! Continued prayer on their health would be much appreciated! We still await the word from the insurance company. Word to wise, don't go without health insurance (if at all possible) if you have germ magnet children!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday 15

Back by popular demand, or actually the fact that I have nothing exciting to tell you, is the Friday 15. Fifteen random and marvelous facts about this crazy life I live. Happy Friday.

1. I have been frantically searching for chocolate all over the house today. The dog got into the brownies I made (they were fantastic, by the way.....and she's not dead, gut of steel apparently) and three boys that currently reside in the house ate the last of the double stuff Oreos last night. A new magazine came in the mail and it had this great chocolate dessert on the front, I was tempted to lick the cover. I restrained myself.

2. I got commissioned to do another window (see blog: www.creativegeniusart.blogspot.com) just like "Au Pear" from an old friend from high school who saw it on the blog. I'm so excited! I think I might be on to something here...God is good!

3. I watched the Florida vs. Oklahoma game last night...sitting in a hot tub. It's nice to have friends.

4. I steam cleaned the couch this morning (Lonnie's bachelor couch) and was totally and completely disgusted at the color water that came out. Think chocolate milk. To think we sit and sleep on that thing.....blech.

5. My dogs nails are so long that they click and are snagging the carpet but they turn into wild beasts if you come near them with the nail clippers. I'm thinking there has to be some dog sedative out there...

6. I just bought a new pair of Adidas drifit running pants, new Nike running shirt, three pairs of Gap jeans and a wool Gap jacket....all for $20...at Goodwill. I love that store!!

7. I'm turning 28 on the 24th. I love birthdays. I don't care that I'm getting older, except for the fact that I despise wrinkles. I am also a facial product junkie.

8. My children stayed in their p.j's until.....well, they are still in them as we speak. Hey, why not? It makes laundry less stressful and they are more comfortable to take their naps in, eh? You don't have to twist my arm to stay in mine either.

9. I want to drink more red wine, but I hate red wine. I need a red wine that is sweet. So wine snob (you know who you are) help me?

10. I love being a mom. It's the most amazing job in the world. I love my children so much and even though I want to put them on eBay occasionally, they are perfect. They make sleepless nights worth it....sometimes.

11. I'm working hard on my core. Plain ole sit ups just don't do anything for runners, so I am starting an intense core training program in high hopes of regaining some of my abs back....it's actually working. I can only do them every other day because my abs hurt so much the next day! If you want the workout, I'd gladly give it to you...you're just not allowed to get more defined abs than me.

12. I thought my husband would like yesterday's post about being compare to Tim McGraw. He didn't. He's shy like that.

13. When I was little I used to think it was called Pizza Hot. Why not? It's hot pizza isn't it?

14. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people drive slow in the passing lane....AND STAY THERE!!! I hate passing on the right and possibly illegal? Maybe they're from Europe and are having with drawl from their highway system...who knows, just get over people!

15. I secretly check out peoples eye brows. Not in a freaky stalker kind of way, I just like to see how different faces look with different eye brows. Some have nice full brows, others have over plucked brows and some have the perfect brow (which is an art form) I'm weird aren't I?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Daddy's new glasses

Yup, it's the twins...except this time Lonnie is sporting his new glasses. They're both so cute aren't they? Poor man, he's been without glasses since Baylor was about 18 months and went on a destroying spree. Hmmmm, kind of like his little brother. They are quite sharp looking and make him look even more distinguished. They also compliment his salt and pepper hair (which he hates, but I love) He needs to give himself more credit, he's a good looking dude.

Lonnie just woke up, he's not on drugs I promise. That is the "ugly" chair, next on my list of nastified (I made that word up) furniture that must go. Lonnie claims it's sooooo comfortable and it does have sentimental value seeing as it was in my brother's nursery when he was a mere babe. It's still ugly. Maybe I'll teach myself how to re-upholster and save it's life.

I begged him to grow the "burns" out again, I think they're sexy. Someday Brody, you too will will have some, "burns" like your daddeyo. Don't you like his glasses?
So one of Lonnie's athlete's compared him to Tim McGraw......I can see it, can you?

Okay, minus the chest hair sandwich...Nair anyone? Lonnie needs a cowboy hat too....
But Tim's going bald....poor Tim.
I prefer slightly graying track coaches thank you.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

You are not allowed to get sick.

So Cornell raised their family health insurance rates through the roof this year. If we were to continue with this coverage, we would have to sell some organs on the black market or I would have to go back to work, both of which we'd rather not do right now. We looked into our options and the boys finally qualify for Hawk-i health insurance for the state of Iowa. It's great, super cheap and they will actually be able to go to a dentist and chiropractor (which Lonnie and I can't right now) So we applied and then cancelled their policy through Cornell, effective Jan. 1st. Well, it's January 7th and the only thing we've heard is that our application got sent to Medicare (apparently legality reasons, you have to send it there first even though we don't qualify) We've called the medicare office about once a day, only to be transferred, put on hold or hung up on. There's the federal government for you. I'm sure there are lots of very very nice people working for the government (my mom being one of them) but this is ridiculous! So my boys are being held captive in their house, away from germs, sharp objects that may be used to slice or puncture thus making it a done deal that we travel to the ER. An ER visit would probably send us to the street in a cardboard box. I've wrapped each child in bubble wrap and a helmet, just in case. We did venture out to church and of course, as luck would have it, Brody caught a nasty cold. He is a snot factory. Luckily, I have his nebulizer and albuterol/pulmicort treatments stashed away. The only thing I'm nervous about is impending ear infections because they always seem to accompany my children after a cold. I'm making Baylor wear a mask and gloves to Awana tonight. So if you think about it, say a quick prayer of health in the direction of my kids until the insurance kicks in....then we can bust out our frequent visitor card at the Dr's office.

I'm also very excited to announce the removal of the, "ugly" couch and the naughty chair. I will have to admit, the naughty chair holds a very special place in my heart, especially since I spent 89% of my childhood sitting on it. I will however, be doing a happy dance when the couch that fell straight out of the seventies is removed. It's going to a loving home. One of Lonnie's former throwers and old neighbor has willingly agreed to take it, along with the naughty chair(I don't think he'll want to call it that anymore though, just a hunch) Now, we will only have TWO couches and one very ugly rocking chair in which Lonnie is in love with. I'll fight that battle later. Sorry Darryl, you are now the only family in Lisbon with three couches!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The art of entertainment: By Brody



Hey, it's me...Brody....my mom is busy cleaning up after me so I thought I'd take the time to share some of my entertainment secrets with you. You see, my parents don't watch t.v anymore or even read books, they simply rely on me for all of their entertainment purposes. First, I'd like to give a tutorial on how to eat an apple...Brody style. Friends, I happen to be an expert on this seemingly mundane activity and it takes a special skill in which I possess. First off, you have to beg and whine for an "appee" or what you people like to call an apple. My mom usually doesn't like to give me a whole apple because well, you'll see. My big brother is great at eating apples, he eats the entire thing...including the core...someday I hope to accomplish this marvelous feat, but one day at a time. Once you've gathered your apple by any means necessary and by any means, I mean using special tactics like climbing on the kitchen table or pushing a chair up to the counter and crawling on it as well. I do what I can, I'm a rock star. Now, one would think that taking large bites would be your first choice in consuming this tasty juicy treat and I would have to disagree. I like to take tiny tiny little chipmunk bites and savor every one. Then, you must promptly spit these little chunks out, all over the house.....in little piles. See photo below.

The more piles you get and the more spread out throughout the house, the better. This makes it fun for mom when she tries to clean them up. She can always tell exactly where I have been in the house simply by following my trail of apple guts. I usually eat about half of the apple and then I discard the half eaten dog hair covered apple in a place where no one can find it. For example, the toy box, in the couch cushions or my personal favorite and the spot that it will sit for days....dad's shoes. Man, the look on his face when he sticks his feet in...priceless. My mom has had to hide the apples from me because I find it necessary to start this apple destroying process over and over again...all day long. Hey, I'm easily entertained, what can I say. Speaking of entertaining....this is another one of my favorite activities.

Table dancing. Sometimes my big brother joins me, even though he knows it's wrong. I prefer the kitchen table, but this coffee table will do just fine. It's even better when there is music playing because I can sure dance. I get this talent from my mother, she sure can cut a rug...or at least she likes to think that she can.
For my next entertainment suggestion, I think that you need to get dirty. I love getting dirty, it's my middle name....Brody Dirty...umm, just kidding it's Stephen but I would have voted for dirty if it was up to me. We were practicing writing our letters here at the kitchen table with dad's shaving cream. I'm not down with this writing thing yet so I decided to paint my face, far more exciting than writing a big "B".
Except when you get it in your nose. Not so much fun. Darn woman, put that camera down and help me get it out of my nose!
My bigger more disobedient bald brother decided he wanted in on the shaving cream face painting fun.
See, isn't he cute....don't let the bald head fool you. His middle name is Manipulator.
I hope you enjoyed my little diddy. It's about time for my a.m bm (morning poo for those of you that don't speak code) This can also be fun if you try to grab the diaper and the contents when mom isn't looking. I do this when I really want to hear her scream....mmmmmmm
Well folks, I'm here all week and I'm open to any entertainment questions you have, so feel free to ask. From destroying a perfectly clean room in less than 4.5 seconds to laughing so hard milk comes out my nose.