Friday, January 30, 2009
(which technically isn't the flu, it's a Gastrointestinal virus, but either way...it sucked)
Lonnie and Brody: Tuesday
I have never cleaned up so much puke and poop from sheets, walls and myself...ever ever ever. I never ever ever want to do it again. I suppose this comes with the territory though huh? Brody is still throwing up any solid food...crackers, red Gatorade (not cool on the carpet) toast...and is not recovering as quickly as we'd like, so keep him in your prayers.
Thanks to my wonderful friends who brought us soups and pedialyte and Popsicles...you guys rock. I could tell you cared by the fear on your faces when you stepped on the porch, dropped the goodies off and then ran like your pants were on fire....don't worry, you can't catch it from our porch. No really, we REALLY REALLY appreciate all the care we've received.
So in the spirit of the movie The Devil Wears Prada, "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight." I lost 8lbs with the worst diet I've ever been on.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
1. Have you ever wondered if the security code words you have to type in to leave a comment on someones blog are actually words? Some of them are mighty amusing.
2. Why is it, that when you take 12 hours cleaning the house your children take 1.2 seconds messing it up.
3. Does it really annoy anyone else when people start typing using text shorthand? No wonder our kids can't spell....does it really take that much longer to type, "you are" rather than U R? Maybe I'm just getting old.
4. I was really excited to take a hot bath last night...until the vision of floating poo entered my mind from the previous 15 minutes of Baylor's bath. Ewww. No bath for me.
5. Don't you wish jelly beans had as much nutritional value as real beans?
6. I have always wondered the complexity of the toddler mind and wonder what goes through his head when he throws toys in the toilet and sticks pencils up his nose?
7. I drank too much coffee this morning to take a nap, but without it I can't function in the morning. The sacrifices we make. I'm not the napping type anyways.
8. I am very thankful for my friends who brought me little gifts for my birthday and brightened my puke filled weekend.
9. One of the highlights of my day is the five seconds it takes to walk to the mailbox (usually in my p.j's) to retrieve the mail. Even if there are bills, sometimes I get a new magazine...and that is like Christmas!
10. Another highlight of my day is when my kids are sleeping and everything is clean and put away and I'm just curled up in bed watching mindless t.v.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Here I am in my Amote preschool photo. I'm 4 in the photo. Yesterday I turned 28. Ohhh baby.
Yesterday I also spent the entire night and day cleaning up vomit. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to give a HUGE shout out to my mom, who first of all endured lots and lots of labor without any drugs, to produce my cute little self. Who also spent many birthdays cleaning up barf, taking care of fevers and chills and spent many sleepless nights to take care of her babies. You rock mom. Thanks for taking Brody yesterday while I took care of his big brother.
So to make a long and painful story shorter...we come home from setting up for the home track meet on Friday night, everyone is tired and cranky and the boys go off to bed at seven. Midnight rolls around and I hear coughing and sputtering and crying from the baby monitor and I fly out of bed knowing what to expect. Poor little Baylor laying in a pile of puke with more on the way, so I grabbed him and ran to the bathroom. Needless to say, the walls, bed, pillows, carpet, floor and Baylor are all covered. Did I mention that I DON'T DO PUKE? He was terrified and had a right to be, since this was only the second time he'd gotten sick, the first he was a baby and ended up in the hospital. Did I also mention WE STILL DON'T HAVE INSURANCE!!!! Well, it was a very very long night of sleeping on the bathroom floor holding a poor little boy who was throwing up every half an hour over a bucket. He is doing a little better this morning...even asked for a sprinkle donut, but we'll stick with clear liquids first. I felt so helpless and even though it sucked because it was on my birthday, I wouldn't be anywhere else but taking care of MY baby. Please keep us in your prayers as we still don't have insurance and if little Brody man gets this, it can't be good (and we really don't care to get it either) I have bleached every hard surface in the house in hopes of minimizing the chances of contact but we all did share a pop Friday night...joy. Thanks for your birthday wishes too!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Baylor: It's a CRAPASAURUS
Oh yea, my kitchen is ALWAYS this clean...... :)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Baylor: "Oh, I'm shaking my booty" (watching his reflection in the t.v)
Me: "Oh really, you like dancing naked?"
Baylor: "Yea, I like to see my penis dance."
Wow. How do you respond to that?!!!!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
...and she wants her workout outfit back.
...and her shoes.
As you can see, my children obviously get their fashion sense from their father. But, hey...at least they are clothed (even if it is partially) in these photos. We were beginning to be known around these parts as the family with the naked children. It could be worse....could be the naked family.
The in-laws are gone, it was short but sweet. I spent all night with two children in my bed and shot up at the sound of any strange noise. You see, my mom watched them on Sunday and then came down with the nasty stomach flu. I happen to be a big worrier when it comes to that stuff....like give myself an ulcer worrying. I freaked out. Disinfected the entire house, but it's probably too late. I know if we get sick, we get sick....but I still freaked out. The prospect of getting the stomach is one of my biggest fears. Call me crazy, but I just don't like it. So I got about two hours of sleep last night, everyone seems to be fine (except me of course, I'm on my third antacid) I'm sure we'll all be just groovy, puking or not. I think it's time for a little rest.
Monday, January 19, 2009
I think my kids think that every time they come, they get toys.
Which is true. They do. They love it and so do I.
So Mike and Lila (Lonnie's parents) are here for a few days visiting us on their way home from Minnesota (visiting their daughter Kim and hubby Dirk) They said the low up there was -50!! I guess our -39 doesn't even compare...it did however crack our living room window, bummer. We'll figure that one out later when it's warmer. Anyhoo, the boys are in heaven with new loot and tons of attention. We're going to hit the Sleep Inn hotel pool tonight, so if you drive by and see a white streak in the window...that's me baby. Feel free to shield your eyes.
They also came bearing chocolate. Can I get an Amen. My thighs will hate them later, but I will savor the decadence now.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Macey looking out the window, contemplating barking at random moving objects.
We're cute gosh darn it, but we shed like there's no tomorrow.
What? Huh? You want me to lick your face after I just licked my hiney? Sure thing, boss.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I think he's getting mom's green eyes, but they seem to be changing every day....just like this little punk. Um, yea that's a dog hair hanging from his mouth...at least it wasn't stuck in between his butt cheeks.
This is what I came around the corner to...Brody,"washing" the dishes. Actually, the destroyer was trying to toast my dish scrubby in the toaster oven. Say cheese! (then he says, "HA HA HA..which means HOT HOT HOT!") Notice the heater by the sink...we were trying to make sure the pipes didn't freeze again. Fun times. Heat wave today....26!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
1. "You dropped your rock."
2. " Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."
3. "Put the lotion in the basket" (this one is for Josh)
4. " Names Barf. I'm a Mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend."
5. "Badges, we don't need no stinkin Badges."
6. "We're women. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it."
7. " You tit. I soiled my armor I was so scared."
8. "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking?"
9. "Why do I have to be the poo checker?"
10. " I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!"
11. " I got off that boat with nothing but my dancers belt and a tube of CHAPSTICK!"
12. " Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
13. "What about Brett Fav-ruh?"
14. " You'd better watch it, Dr.Death, I'm pretty damn fast for a Caucasian."
15. "You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
WELCOME TO ANTARCTICA aka IOWA: We're having record lows these past few days...and that is without windchill. Last night when I was driving home from band, the air temp was -22!!! It's so cold that your nostrils freeze together and it hurts to breathe outside.
Spring can't come soon enough!!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
What are poopie feet? Glad you asked.
They are when a three year old poops in his pull-up and decides it doesn't feel so great and decides to take it off.....and then sticks his feet in the poop. He then decides that he wants to come inform the parental unit and walks to my room.....leaving poopie footprints all over the carpet....at 6am.
This my friends, is how I started out my day. BUT it got increasingly better because 1. My pipes did NOT freeze in the -30 temps last night and 2. We got to get out of the house and play with other children (it's been about a week and a half since my kids have seen another child...no joke)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Um, yes...that is, "The Big Book of Breasts" we're looking at....strategically placed I might add.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I chose the fudge. Life is too short to pass up large chunks of chocolate.
So I got another one of those, "getting to know you" surveys in my email. I thought to myself...hmmm, I could try to scare my readers away even more with random nuggets of information not pertained to their lives and quite possibly bore them to death OR tell them about how I opened the one piece of mail today and needed CPR. You guessed it...it was the heating bill. So I opted for fun over moping. Here goes. Sorry to bore you again.
1. What is your occupation right now? Well lets see...chauffeur, chef, launderer, maid, nurse, barber, coach...but you can call me mom, and I've been meaning to talk to management about my salary. I'm also an artist.
2. What color are your socks right now? Blue with stripes
3. What are you listening to right now? The space heater suck the life and money out of our pocketbook, but it sure is warming up my hiney.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Well, I'm drinking a mocha using this mornings left over coffee and then there's that large hunk O' fudge. I'd rather not think about that though.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Heck yes! I love stick shifts and would have one right now if it weren't for a certain other adult that shares this house with me that cannot drive a stick shift. I won't drop any names though. I learned to drive on a tractor....only in Iowa.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Actually,I think she smells like Italian sausage soup.
8. How old are you today? I turn 28 on the 24th baby.
9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Track and Field and then football. When March rolls around I like a little madness here and there.
10. What is your favorite drink? A good (I'm not talking gas station here) coffee. I'm a coffee snob like that.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Must we revisit that traumatic time....blonds do NOT have more fun and neither do girls with maroon hair.
12. Favorite food? Anything that makes my hiney jiggle. (mashed potatoes, chocolate, deep fried macaroni and cheese and rare steak)
13. What is the last movie you watched? Well, if we're getting technical, I haven't been to a theatre in almost 2 years. The last movie I watched was Land Before Time....46 minutes ago. An hour and a half of my life I can never get back.
14. Favorite day of the year? Birthday baby.....did I mention it was next week?
15. How do you vent anger? Two words: Freak out.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? This awesome doll house my mom made me, she even cut every shingle out of sand paper...she rocks.
17. What is your favorite season? The end of summer beginning of fall.
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? sure, telling me how fantastic I am.
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Who ever wants to procrastinate laundry and cleaning the kitchen.
21. Who is least likely to respond? Why must people always ask this ridiculous question.
22. Living arrangements? The hubby, the boys and the dogs in a very cold 100 year old house, it's perfect.
23. When was the last time you cried? Crying is for babies or premenstrual women, neither of those fit me right now.
24. What is on the floor of your closet? I have a floor in my closet!!!!!!
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? Not sending it punk, quit asking me that.
26. What did you do last night? Tried to sleep until 2am when Lonnie woke up and remembered he had left Cornell's vacuum cleaner by the pole vault pit and thought he would get in trouble for it soooooo he drove through a blizzard to go put it back. Then at 5am a little munchkin named Baylor decided that he wanted to snuggle (he's been doing this every day!!!!) I love snuggling, just not at five in the morning. So I repeat...tried to sleep.
27. What are you most afraid of? something happening to my family, not doing what God wants me to, drains, snakes and big ugly pimples.
29. Favorite dog breed? Beagles of course....except the ones that don't shed, pee on the floor, bark or scratch my floors.
30. Favorite day of the week? They all just blend together....
31. How many states have you lived in? Iowa....and Iowa...and let me see....uhhh, Iowa. I lived in Branson for two summers does that count?
32. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls
33.What is your favorite flower? Lilacs
Monday, January 12, 2009
1. Yes, the scary dude with the ab ball is floating.....freaky isn't it? You too can float while doing abs, just drink 18 cups of coffee beforehand.
2. How do I find time? Time? What is that? I try not to make excuses for not having time for things I love (not that inflicting painful exercises on my body is my idea of a good time) BUT, I find time. I don't do these every day, just every other day. I also do them in spurts....like while the boys watch Sesame Street, I do the first five. Then when they nap or are contently playing (which by the way, is getting SOOOO much better!) I do the final five. I am however, the queen of multitasking, so keep that in mind...it's a gift...a gift that makes me crazy and somewhat anal.
Okay time to motivate.....ummm, errr...huh, I got nothing spectacular, but I know you can do it and I know you will find time if you truly want to. No pressure, just a fun challenge. There is hope for the front butt!
So yesterday I helped my husband coach a track and field clinic for high school kids. I was in charge of the hurdlers, but it's been five years since I've hurdled. He had faith in me, as I was a little nervous with the drills. All went well, I even demonstrated...and now I am paying severely for it.
No joke. Yes, I've been running and working out...but not hurdling! Yikes. I needed serious help to get out of bed this morning. Oh yeah, I remember those muscles....the memories of the first week of track or soccer practice came flooding back. It's a good sore though and everyone loves a good sore. Anyways, I'm totally excited to coach the next two Sundays. Still working on the logistics of training for a triathlon in the spring/summer.
Did I mention we're having a blizzard right now? Yippee.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
First I wanted to include this nice photo of my abs.
Okay, okay maybe these are the abs I dream about. Anyways, as promised here are the core ab workouts I have been doing every other day. I'll try to give some explanation, feel free to ask me any questions. I'll start out by answering your first two questions. 1. No, those aren't my abs and 2. Nope, those aren't mine either, but I wish they were.
You'll do each number of reps in a circuit three times, or until you can't move from the pain and laughing is nearly impossible. These work your core (abs, back, glutes, obliques) rather than just your abs. Your core is very important for any form of exercise.
Glute Bridge. Hold for 30 seconds, with both feet on the ground and then march (seen above) each leg ten times.
Oblique or side plank. Hold for 30 seconds, each side. This dude needs to raise his hips higher, it just looks like he's posing for the camera and not doing abs.
Reverse crunch. Great for lower abs, your baby holding pooch or, "front butt" as one mother so lovingly put it. Keep your shoulders on the ground and roll your hips up, with your knees slightly bent towards your chin. (3x10)
Superman plank: Keep your body parallel to the floor and your hiney tucked in. If you stick it in the air or let it sag, you're cheating. This is great for your abs and more so for your back. Hold for 30 seconds.
Hip thrust. While keeping your shoulders on the ground, lift your booty, hips and legs off the ground. Also another one for the lower abs. (3x15)
Regular crunch on ab ball. If you don't have an ab ball, I would highly recommend getting one. They are great for saving your back and you get more bang for your buck when you do abs. You can also use them for other exercises. They also make superb toys for young children and are great for stretching them out too! (3x15)
Brody man, our mini entertainer. Makes me giggle, makes me laugh but mostly makes me wonder what he's up to. This age has it's frustrations but I love seeing him in action and seeing his face light up when he discovers something new. Like today when he realized that he could flush things DOWN the toilet, so he stood there putting little chunks of toilet paper down, flushing and waving "Buh bye!" I found a towel, cup and bath toy in the toilet upstairs. Those toilet locks that I laughed at are becoming more of a reality.
He insisted on swinging while we were outside enjoying the 10 inches of snow we received on Friday. One happy camper, he loves that thing.
Tough man....in an eighties snowsuit. It looks like he should be standing by a big buck holding a shot gun and grunting.
Okay, too close.
It took me twenty minutes just to get that thing on!
BUGGY! Trying to find bugs in the snow....good luck with that.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Now if this dancing machine doesn't make you smile, I don't know what will. I taught him those smooth yet somewhat spastic arm moves.
So Brody man has been sick with a respiratory virus that has moved into his chest....big surprise. Since he doesn't have insurance, I was almost positive (thanks Murphy's law) something or some illness was going to strike while they were un-insured....and it did. We have plenty of breathing treatments left for his nebulizer, so I have be frantically giving those to him, but he continued to wheeze and cough. His cough was starting to sound croup like so I began to panic last night. The doctor had given us some prednisone, a very strong steroid, to help with the cough. Unfortunately, Brody man decided that he would throw it up every time we tried to give it to him. I tried everything, honey, syrup, soda, orange juice, ice cream, you name it. We tried again that night, of course after dinner..duh! which was projectile vomited right on my mom. I will never eat a hot dog with mac and cheese again. He woke up this morning and was really wheezy and his chest was pulling (which means he was having difficulty breathing) after his breathing treatment he was a little better. I called the Dr. and tried to get him to switch the syrup to a pill, which was so nasty Lonnie wouldn't even try it so, I don't blame the little dude for puking it up. Long story short, we got the medicine in pill form so we could crush them up and try to disguise them in food. Finally, finally, finally, after chocolate, ice cream, chocolate covered cherries and cottage cheese, the winner was honey. The little man had more sugar in two hours then he's had in his entire life, but we got the medicine down! Hopefully we will see results. Baylor is coming down with his brothers cold gunk too, oh joy! Continued prayer on their health would be much appreciated! We still await the word from the insurance company. Word to wise, don't go without health insurance (if at all possible) if you have germ magnet children!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
1. I have been frantically searching for chocolate all over the house today. The dog got into the brownies I made (they were fantastic, by the way.....and she's not dead, gut of steel apparently) and three boys that currently reside in the house ate the last of the double stuff Oreos last night. A new magazine came in the mail and it had this great chocolate dessert on the front, I was tempted to lick the cover. I restrained myself.
2. I got commissioned to do another window (see blog: www.creativegeniusart.blogspot.com) just like "Au Pear" from an old friend from high school who saw it on the blog. I'm so excited! I think I might be on to something here...God is good!
3. I watched the Florida vs. Oklahoma game last night...sitting in a hot tub. It's nice to have friends.
4. I steam cleaned the couch this morning (Lonnie's bachelor couch) and was totally and completely disgusted at the color water that came out. Think chocolate milk. To think we sit and sleep on that thing.....blech.
5. My dogs nails are so long that they click and are snagging the carpet but they turn into wild beasts if you come near them with the nail clippers. I'm thinking there has to be some dog sedative out there...
6. I just bought a new pair of Adidas drifit running pants, new Nike running shirt, three pairs of Gap jeans and a wool Gap jacket....all for $20...at Goodwill. I love that store!!
7. I'm turning 28 on the 24th. I love birthdays. I don't care that I'm getting older, except for the fact that I despise wrinkles. I am also a facial product junkie.
8. My children stayed in their p.j's until.....well, they are still in them as we speak. Hey, why not? It makes laundry less stressful and they are more comfortable to take their naps in, eh? You don't have to twist my arm to stay in mine either.
9. I want to drink more red wine, but I hate red wine. I need a red wine that is sweet. So wine snob (you know who you are) help me?
10. I love being a mom. It's the most amazing job in the world. I love my children so much and even though I want to put them on eBay occasionally, they are perfect. They make sleepless nights worth it....sometimes.
11. I'm working hard on my core. Plain ole sit ups just don't do anything for runners, so I am starting an intense core training program in high hopes of regaining some of my abs back....it's actually working. I can only do them every other day because my abs hurt so much the next day! If you want the workout, I'd gladly give it to you...you're just not allowed to get more defined abs than me.
12. I thought my husband would like yesterday's post about being compare to Tim McGraw. He didn't. He's shy like that.
13. When I was little I used to think it was called Pizza Hot. Why not? It's hot pizza isn't it?
14. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people drive slow in the passing lane....AND STAY THERE!!! I hate passing on the right and possibly illegal? Maybe they're from Europe and are having with drawl from their highway system...who knows, just get over people!
15. I secretly check out peoples eye brows. Not in a freaky stalker kind of way, I just like to see how different faces look with different eye brows. Some have nice full brows, others have over plucked brows and some have the perfect brow (which is an art form) I'm weird aren't I?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Lonnie just woke up, he's not on drugs I promise. That is the "ugly" chair, next on my list of nastified (I made that word up) furniture that must go. Lonnie claims it's sooooo comfortable and it does have sentimental value seeing as it was in my brother's nursery when he was a mere babe. It's still ugly. Maybe I'll teach myself how to re-upholster and save it's life.
I begged him to grow the "burns" out again, I think they're sexy. Someday Brody, you too will will have some, "burns" like your daddeyo. Don't you like his glasses?
Okay, minus the chest hair sandwich...Nair anyone? Lonnie needs a cowboy hat too....
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I'm also very excited to announce the removal of the, "ugly" couch and the naughty chair. I will have to admit, the naughty chair holds a very special place in my heart, especially since I spent 89% of my childhood sitting on it. I will however, be doing a happy dance when the couch that fell straight out of the seventies is removed. It's going to a loving home. One of Lonnie's former throwers and old neighbor has willingly agreed to take it, along with the naughty chair(I don't think he'll want to call it that anymore though, just a hunch) Now, we will only have TWO couches and one very ugly rocking chair in which Lonnie is in love with. I'll fight that battle later. Sorry Darryl, you are now the only family in Lisbon with three couches!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Hey, it's me...Brody....my mom is busy cleaning up after me so I thought I'd take the time to share some of my entertainment secrets with you. You see, my parents don't watch t.v anymore or even read books, they simply rely on me for all of their entertainment purposes. First, I'd like to give a tutorial on how to eat an apple...Brody style. Friends, I happen to be an expert on this seemingly mundane activity and it takes a special skill in which I possess. First off, you have to beg and whine for an "appee" or what you people like to call an apple. My mom usually doesn't like to give me a whole apple because well, you'll see. My big brother is great at eating apples, he eats the entire thing...including the core...someday I hope to accomplish this marvelous feat, but one day at a time. Once you've gathered your apple by any means necessary and by any means, I mean using special tactics like climbing on the kitchen table or pushing a chair up to the counter and crawling on it as well. I do what I can, I'm a rock star. Now, one would think that taking large bites would be your first choice in consuming this tasty juicy treat and I would have to disagree. I like to take tiny tiny little chipmunk bites and savor every one. Then, you must promptly spit these little chunks out, all over the house.....in little piles. See photo below.
The more piles you get and the more spread out throughout the house, the better. This makes it fun for mom when she tries to clean them up. She can always tell exactly where I have been in the house simply by following my trail of apple guts. I usually eat about half of the apple and then I discard the half eaten dog hair covered apple in a place where no one can find it. For example, the toy box, in the couch cushions or my personal favorite and the spot that it will sit for days....dad's shoes. Man, the look on his face when he sticks his feet in...priceless. My mom has had to hide the apples from me because I find it necessary to start this apple destroying process over and over again...all day long. Hey, I'm easily entertained, what can I say. Speaking of entertaining....this is another one of my favorite activities.