Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you......
An entire store filled with people are watching your almost two year old scream and cry and throw one enormous tantrum on the floor and then in the cart and then on the floor and then again on the floor......Do ya?
Oh, oh...me me me. I do I do!!! (or should I say, I did)
I'm not sure what was going through Lonnie and my heads tonight when we concocted this amazingly retarded plan to take both boys shopping with us. Yes, BOTH. We were going to divide and concur the shopping list to save time. Now Baylor is great. He is a rock star. You can actually carry on a conversation with him and he stays close to you and when you look at something too long he says, "No, mom....we're just looking, it's too expensive." And then there is the other white meat. Who apparently started the terrible two's a couple of months early. I seriously used the phrase, "I can't take you anywhere, " tonight and meant every syllable. I love that kid to death, but he will be the death of me.
People would walk by the screaming mass of toddler mush and give a polite smile....but I know what they were thinking. Some would laugh a little and were probably reminiscing about the times they had to scrape their two year old off the shopping cart too. Good for you, but look at me again like that and you'll get a flip flop to the jugular. Some also gave the look of death stare. These people obviously have not birthed and raised children and have never been in a public place with a human under the age of 18. May God have mercy on your soul.
I couldn't decide how to feel. Part of me wanted to cry the other part wanted to be embarrassed and a teeny tiny part wanted to walk up to him, point and say, "Excuse me little boy are you lost? Who do you belong to?" Because we all know that no child of mine would ever throw an enormous knock down drag out fit in the middle of wally world......wait, where am I? Oh yes, fantasy land. All of this drama over a box of Teddy Grahams....which we never buy but decided that it would make a nice car snack. Oh, boy was I wrong. The funny part was that he was screaming "ca ca" really really really loud....which is cracker in Brody and crap in Spanish.
So Brody has lost all shopping privileges until he's 25.
This my friends, is what happens when you leave dad (who's rear just happened to be in the photo and I didn't realize it until now....it's okay, I know you want to pretend like you're pinching it...go ahead....I won't tell) in charge while you go run. We all know that that room was perfectly clean when I left right? (This is the part where you inset sarcastic undertones) KAPOW! It's like the toy box threw up. These kids have the uncanny ability to destroy a perfectly clean room in a matter of seconds. It was good for Lonnie to see that I don't just sit on my hiney and eat bon bons, I do clean.....and then this happens! They sure had fun though!
There are a few rules in the Speidel house that always seem inevitable....
1. Whenever the man of the house is away or has to work on a holiday, one or more children will fall ill.
2. Whenever one large or important appliance breaks, all the others will follow suit.
Lonnie had to work on memorial day so of course Brody fell ill. He's going better, think the antibiotics are helping! Rule number two......the mower went ca put, then the BBQ grill followed close behind.
Now for the good news. Whenever something icky seems to go wrong, God always seems to find a way to say, "Hey there! Yea, you....who refuses to trust that everything will be okay...Yea, I'm talking to you....TAKE THAT!" And I am once again reminded of his sovereignty and many blessings. I was nervous about the cost of the meds with Brody going to the doctor and low and behold the total came to $ .00!
Although a grill is not a necessity, it sure is nice to have in the summer because our kitchen gets so hot because of lack of air conditioning. Out of the blue, my aunt and uncle decided that they don't like their grill and would like to give it to us (all of this being done without a word mentioned that our grill had bit the dust) God is good. So we have a new to us grill that just needed a good cleaning and heating element. Another side note on God's amazing blessings for the week is that we had been looking for a bike trailer for the boys, but they are few and far between at garage sales, so we tabled the possibility of getting a new one. It so happens that a friendly neighbor and church friend wants to pass theirs on to us. I'm stoked.
And finally, the mower is fixed and it wasn't anything serious. Now I get to go mow....yee haw.
So once again God decides that he is in control and I better take a back seat, reminding me of the little things in life to be thankful for....like grills, mowers, hand me down bike trailers and medicine that costs $.00!
There are two phrases in parenting that should be used few and far between. Those two little words are NEVER and ALWAYS. I often use these phrases lightly in conversation or even in my head when I hear a story about another child doing something crazy or unexplainable. We all know by now that my children NEVER do crazy or unexplainable things.
I had heard many horror stories of little boys using their little boy parts to spray pee all over anything. Bathroom walls, their bed....um, each other...of course the first thing in my always running never sleeping head was, oh...my boys would NEVER do something like that. We pee IN the toilet.
For days I would fall asleep in my bed only to be abruptly awoken from my beauty sleep by the pungent aroma of urine. (Now, the following might gross people out...especially if you don't have kids, many apologies and I hope you never have to endure this later in life!) I could not find the source of this pee smell and it was driving me up the wall. I have a very sensitive nose and this annoying odor was causing loss of sleep. FINALLY...finally, I was on my hands and knees, sniffing everything in sight and was lead to the tiny space in between the bed and the wall. I leaned over and took a big whiff of the, "crack" of the bed and nearly passed out. Houston, we have a problem. Apparently, my oh so perfect oldest son decided that rather than napping (which he does in our bed) he would water the carpet....pillows....heating pad...suitcase...whatever called that small space home. Long story short, we had a little chat about relieving oneself IN the toilet and not in the crack of the bed!!!! The sheets have been laundered and I cannot get that urine smell out! So after you get done laughing, could you please tell me how to get the urine smell out!!!
On a side note, poor Brody is sick today. We took him to the urgent care clinic with a high fever with ibuprofen and found out he still has an ear infection along with a weird virus. Of course I was worried about swine, avian and whatever animal flu is out there. Hopefully the antibiotics will clear things up in his ear and the virus will pass quickly, he is not a happy camper.
I hope you enjoyed your Memorial day and remembered to thank those who serve and have served our country!
The one that had me on the phone with poison control today because he decided that flea and tick shampoo suds were something worth ingesting. I mean, c'mon...who wouldn't want to take a gigantic gulp of dirty dog bath water with soap in it? At least we know he'll be flea and tick free for a while.....
Don't worry, he's fine and I'm sure it won't be the last time we call poison control. I'm thinking of assigning it a speed dial number on my phone.....
My mom sent me this email the other day and I couldn't help but giggle when I read it. It was a good giggle, but it also held many truths when it comes to living our lives now as opposed to, "back then." Most of us survived infant hood, childhood and are thriving here in adulthood (am I an adult yet? I beg to differ some days...) and look what we had to endure. Now I am not at all advocating that you don't protect your child, put them in a 45 point safety harness while riding in moving vehicles and put them on their backs when sleeping, I just think sometimes we go a tad overboard.
Some of our mothers drank, smoked and took aspirin while we were hanging out in the uterus. They also ate blue cheese, tuna and drank coffee. (I ate tuna and drank plenty of coffee and my kids are perfectly happy and healthy) After we arrived (most of the time without drugs, but I have to say I quite enjoyed mine!) we were put to sleep on our tummies in large puffy beds surrounded by stuffed animals, bumpers and painted with lead paint. We're still alive.
There were no such thing as child safety locks, lids or helmets for riding your bike. Some of us were even without car seats, booster seats and riding in the back of a truck was a fun summer activity. As kids we drank water from the hose and not from biodegradable organic water bottles. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. For the record, I always use real butter....I don't care, I refuse to use the fake plastic stuff....eww. We also drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar....I know, hold back your gasps. When we ate out...it was out of the fridge not a drive through window. The funny thing is we weren't overweight. Why? We spent the day outside playing and running. No 300 channels, xBox, Wii or Leap Frogs. My brother and I were outside from sun up to sun down and most of the time my mom didn't hear from us until we got hungry. We also had friends...in which we TALKED to by either a. the phone...not cell phone or b. we walked down the road or hollared through the fence if we wanted to play. We fell out of trees, broke bones, lost teeth, ate worms, made mud pies and shot BB guns. Still alive.
I know what you're thinking. Man, this lady is crazy and her kids must be crazy too. They eat real butter and dirt. I just want to see my boys grow up to be responsible, learn from their mistakes, fall off their bike a few times, eat plenty of dirt to realize that it tastes gross and experience childhood the way we did (for the most part) I am glad for the advances in safety and I'm even more ecstatic for Veggie Tales DVD's when I can have 45 minutes of peace and quiet on a rainy day. For the record, we're a very healthy family too. I don't feed my children white bread with butter and white sugar for every meal....just a few. They happen to see plenty of fruits and veggies, but I don't withhold sweets because I can foresee a problem later down the road. Let them be kids and you be the parent. Teaching them to be responsible is one thing, but being responsible yourself is another and moderation is always a good thing to practice.
So it's Friday. Go ahead and drink some kool-aid, send the kids out to make mud pies and remember that God is watching over us and our children. I'm going to go get myself a cupcake.....
No, it's not a home perm...SOMEONE figured out how to open the pantry and took out the tin foil. So we made some fun out of it. Trying to talk to the "others" using his super helmet. Maybe if we sit him on the t.v, we can get NBC again! "Me Nakee" which translates from Brody into a somewhat understandable phrase of, "Me Naked." Those were the words that came out of his mouth as he bolted for the door (naked of course) and went straight for the water. Many apologies to the neighbors, FedEx guy and random older gentleman walking his dog. I SWEAR my kids wear clothes....sometimes. I love summer weather because I can get away with putting them in just shorts (which eventually come off) and save on laundry!
Not the name of my most recent poetic work however.
It's what happened to Pear Gigantico (the window with a big pear on it) this morning when I was ironically trying to wrap it up in bubble wrap for the friend who bought it. Cracked. Tears. Grumpiness. I'm trying my hardest to recreate this work of art, but it's not working. Luckily the person who is buying is very understanding!
There was also a hole in the our new "swimming pool" that the boys were so excited about using today. More tears (just not mine) We might be investing in one of those hard plastic ones that can sustain dog claws and rough boys. I think it will be worth our while. We had to settle for a big tub yesterday instead. Pretty amusing.
I pulled out the sprinkler today and Baylor kept proclaiming how much he loved me. Gee, if it only takes a little water to get him to profess his love for me, I might carry a squirt gun at all times.
I have vowed to try to complain less about situations I cannot control. It's a gorgeous day out, I have my new swimming suit on (but terrified to go outside) and my kids are both healthy for once a long time. God is good. Art can be replaced. Pools can be mended. Rhubarb pie can be eaten.
...almost. It's 83. Woo baby. Summer is just around the corner!
So the winners from the name that weed contest are Andrea and Janice...it turned out to be violets. Thanks for all of your advice and help...and I'll be getting those er, uh...prizes out soon :) How about a nice bouquet of violets? The lawn mower is still broken so we're growing a jungle over here. The stinkin thing is only two years old and we think it might be the alternator. I give up. Maybe we'll just get a goat.
My project today is taking the chairs outside and scrubbing them down....or getting out the jack hammer because there is some strange stuff caked on there. Mmmmmm. I also have two stools that will get a painting and each boy will get their own.
Out to get sun on the legs and hopefully not frighten the neighbors!
We'll get to the weed later....first watermelon of the season. You can tell by the drama in his face that he's really enjoying this. Baylor LOVES watermelon.
Savoring each mouth watering bite...
....wait boy, not the Rhine.
Here is it. The weed that is taking over our lawn. It's believed to be a Creeping Charlie (not just the scary guy down the street) but we wanted to make sure. So all of you lawn weed experts here is your chance to shine. Name that weed! (and for extra credit, tell us how to get rid of it) Points will be deducted from your answer if you show any sort of arrogance, we just want it gone people.
Little Brody man likes watermelon too....
This was the attempt at a photo shoot this morning before church.....and all I got was this face.
Brody is serenading his marshmallow.....and then he hears a car horn and proclaims, "what's that?" Hello ADD boy. He is going to be my little singer and his big brother can play along on his trumpet. I can see it now, what a duo...that is if they don't kill each other first.
This is what the Speidel family had for dinner last night. Long story short...it looks amazing, but tasted like lighter fluid. Why, you ask? Our gas grill broke and I had to dig the good ole' mini Weber grill out of captivity and use wet charcoal and LOTS of lighter fluid. I think I went a tad overboard on the lighter fluid. Poor chicken. Looks like Lonnie may be getting a new grill for father's day....or a mower because that broke too! What is it with everything breaking at once!
The boys were killing time while we waited for the chemical chicken to finish grilling.
I did manage to bake two very yummy rhubarb pies. No one likes rhubarb except me...this could be dangerous.
We like to start the boys early with their training. Take for instance the art of tire rolling.
Brody seems to be getting the hang of it.
(insert grunting noise here)
This is Baylor's, "mad face" Unfortunately, we get this face more than we'd like. You know your face is going to stick like that son......
This cute little dude with a new do. That's not hair gel...it's snot. In tough economic times, we all have to do our part to conserve. We like to use things that are in abundance...like boogies.
Lonnie is away at a meet today but will actually be home tomorrow (gasp) Two more weeks and then I reintroduce myself to my husband again.
Here are the two posters I'm working on for our Grand Celebration of Brass Bands this June.
Yes, you can laugh now. It's a big ole brass band festival featuring (us) the Eastern Iowa Brass Band, The Chicago Brass Band and The Madison Brass Band. It will be in Amana this year at the RV park (think captive audience) and always worth the trip. These have taken up most of nap time....grrrrr
This morning I did escape for a few hours to attend the BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) intro class so I can attend in the fall. We'll be doing the book of John. I'm excited but it will take much discipline on my part. There is also a rockin childcare program for BOTH boys.
So I've found that having two children whom share the letter B for their first names can be slightly tricky. I often call Brody Baylor or Baylor Brody or mix the two together Braylor and Bady or whatever. Most often, I just spew out all of our family names just to make sure I cover my bases and end with, "whatever your name is" The other day my mom was putting Baylor's shoes on and he says, "Thanks mom, er grandma, er whatever your name is."
And that is all I have to say about that. Enjoy the day!
Baylor's first smore. We toasted marshmellows at my parents house this weekend. He gave me the burnt part (which is by far the best part) of the marshmellow.
Brody man was a little freaked out by the whole fire thing....he kept making the fire truck sound.
"I seep" which translates from toddler into "I sleep"
And why not? Nothing is more comfortable than a dog bed. You go for it little guy.
Brody Man. Always asking for a "nack" which also translates into "snack" Here is his current stats:
Age: 21 months
Weight: 27 lbs and solid as a rock
Size: 6 shoe, 2T or 24 months shirts, 18 months pants....because he's a midget
Favorites: The sand box, snacks, reading books and rocking, throwing sand, drawing on anything except appropriate drawing material, swinging, laughing, throwing dramatic tantrums and entertaining us.
Least favorites: Sharing, coming inside, sharing, taking naps and sharing.
The kid has also had a runny nose for almost two months. All of you health professionals out there? Is that normal? Allergies maybe? If I could market snot, I'd be a millionaire.
Baylor man. Really growing up and still cracking us up.
Size: 8 shoe, 4t almost a 5T
Favorites: The sandbox, throwing sand in Brody's hair, snaking not eating, playing make believe with himself (you should hear the conversations he has, it's hilarious) Thomas the Train, Dinosaurs and reading magic eye books.
I figured after yesterday's post, I really owe it to my mom :) Check out this gorgeous blond. No wonder she had the boys knocking down the door. Major props to my dad for snagging this one. She did an amazing job raising my brother and I. Most days I just wonder if I can even remotely compare to her. There are days when I want to ship my boys off to her house so that she can teach them all the things she taught me. She raised us to love the Lord, honor, respect, be a hard worker, take interest in people, be thoughtful, creative and kind. There is nothing this lady can't do.
I mean, look at this hot mama. This is her as homecoming queen (go figure)
She does an amazing job with the boys too. I couldn't ask for a better grandma and built in babysitter. I know the boys will be taken care of and come home with many lessons learned.
She is one of the hardest working women I know. She works hard not only at her job as a nurse but at home taking care of her husband and home. To top it all off, she comes home a runs a few miles most days. I hope I can stay as fit and lively as her when I'm her age. When I say lively...I mean spunky. If you know my mom, she's a ball of fire. Always fun to be around and goofy to say the least. No wonder everyone always wants to hang out with her.
How could I forget...she's also a diva (hence the shirt)
So thank mom for being such a wonderful person, amazingly godly woman and the best mom in the world. I couldn't ask for anything more. Thanks for all that you have taught me and are still teaching me! I love you so much!
I'm sorry mom. Please don't hate me. I love you profusely. You are a wonderful mother and grandmother. You make me laugh...a lot...with that being said.....let's continue with this story.
So my beautiful mother broke her glasses in the car ride up to my house today. All she had left were these stunning sunglasses...no, really, they are quite stunning. They have little rhinestones in the side and they're purple. My mom rocks by the way. So after laughing my hiney off, I felt kind of sorry for her...and then I laughed some more. She is so totally blind without her glasses that it's not funny...amusing, yes...but probably a tad on the dangerous side. I also had a few visions pop into my head after taking this photo of her......
Here she is with her wonderfully sexy sunglasses. (She's going to kill me for this)
and then for no reason at all....THIS popped into my head.
Well, this popped into my head too...but there are some obvious differences here. Like the hair...my mom has short hair. I love Stevie.
So in the spirit of mother's day. I salute my blind mother and her snazzy glasses :) I will do a nice mothers day post later...I just have to stop laughing first.
I've encountered a problem with the way my children eat. I've been well aware that both of my chillins are amongst the pickiest eaters ON THE PLANET. In fact, I'm not quite sure how they gain any weight when the have two grapes, a bite of cheese and a swig of milk and call it a meal. I wish I could eat like that and be full.... or design a diet plan called, " The two grapes and I'm full Diet." I'd be rich. I did a little research in this department, and determined that it doesn't matter what is on their plate....it's what's on MY plate. I could be eating the VERY SAME THING, but somehow it is not quite as appetizing and delicious as what is in my bowl. Take for example last night for dinner, I made this sweet southwestern chicken pie (which I'll post the recipe because it rocks) and neither boy would touch it with a ten foot pole. Baylor thought the black beans were some sort of insect. Weird. Today at lunch I warmed up a plate for me and both boys insisted on sharing and asking me for, "bite please" I also made them a nice pb and J sandwich and all they wanted was the turkey out of my sandwich. So tonight for dinner, I will eat a big bowl of green beans or salad and see if my experiment works.
Here's the recipe (via Berkley) I tweaked it a tad and it's not necessarily low fat, but who cares because it rocks.
Southwest Chicken Pie
2 refrigerated pie crusts
1 pkg shredded Colby cheese
1 sm container sour cream
1 can black beans rinsed and drained
1 can whole kernel corn
1 small can chopped black olives
1 C. instant rice
2-3 cooked chicken breasts (seasoned if you want) cut up in chunks or shredded
1 egg beaten (for the top of the crust...NOT to go inside the pie)
Salt/pepper/garlic powder/parsley/cumin to taste (I hate measuring so I have no idea how much I put in)
Heat oven to 400. Place one pie crust on bottom of springform pan or very deep pie dish. Mix all the goodies (minus the egg) in a bowl and then pour into pie crust. Cover with second pie crust and cut a few slits on the top to vent. Brush with egg. Cook for about 30 minutes or until crust is brown. Mmmmm good. Even better the second day...and the third.
...that I will never again do or have these things in life....and I'm okay with that (for the most part)
1. Have a clean house or at least a clean house that lasts for more than five minutes. I can't keep up with these two destroyers of all things. After spending the morning on the kitchen, I turn around to find a nice painting on the table....in peanut butter. Oh, Joy. There will always be dog hair and sticky fingerprints somewhere.
2. Sleep soundly and for long periods of time...ever ever ever. I'm not really okay with this, but that's what caffeine is for.
3. Have a day that goes by that I am not thankful for the blessings of two healthy boys and a wonderful husband.
4. Boobs. I tried to convince Lonnie that we should invest in a little enhancement but that didn't go over too well.
5. The laundry done....and I mean ALL of the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away. It's like an evil cycle.
6. A day that my children eat what is put in front of them (including the horrible green things called beans) without a peep.
7. A day that 2pm rolls around and I'm licking the chocolate cake advertisement in a magazine because I can't find the stinkin chocolate that I hid.
8. Not be able to look at Brody doing something ridiculous and laugh. This kid deserves his own show. Like today when he wiped out in the grass and laid there for a moment and then yelled, "SAFE!"
9. A date with Hugh Jackman. Sorry, Hugh...I'm taken.
10. A post where I spell everything perfectly and my grammar is amazingly accurate.
11. A bathroom that doesn't smell like pee. I mean seriously, how hard is it to ready, aim and fire into a porcelain bowl. You'd think with three males in the house, one of them could hit the toilet.
12. Real honest to goodness alone time. I always feel like I'm forgetting something or feel guilty about leaving my children and rush to get back. This will never change.
13. Towels that match. Where is the fun in that?
14. Perfection.....and I like it that way.
You have to learn to laugh at life's little annoyances, mistakes and imperfections and especially in motherhood. Your children might turn out like those kids in Children of the Corn if you don't. When things don't go your way, someone doesn't nap as long as they should or your whole wheat muffins resemble hockey pucks, you just have to grin and bear it. All of this coming from miss anal herself.
This is what we're getting Baylor for Christmas.
A box filled with sticks, rocks and leaves. What more could a boy want.
It's okay to be jealous that this is what I see when I look out of my enormous window in the kitchen. A huge fenced in back yard. Just kidding, jealousy is a sin.
I am very thankful for this though. VERY THANKFUL. I am however, not thankful for a large yard when I have to sprint across it to save the neighbors from having to catch a peek at Baylor's boy parts. Note to self: DO NOT let Brody just pee outside whenever he deems necessary...it will become a habit and then the drawers will drop at a moments notice. Saves on TP though.
I feel like this most days too.....except for my teeth are less pointy and I'm sure my breath smells minty fresh. This is Baylor's newest toy obession. Tiny T-Rex.
The apple blossoms from our tree....which ironically has one apple every year. Last year some little kid walked by and picked it. I chased him down the street with a broom.
Not really, but I thought about it.
These blossoms and the stinkin trees that are pollinating are causing my nose to itch and me to sneeze.
If little boys could design heaven, I'm sure it would include a giant tractor tire filled with sand.
All he needs now is a little glass of milk with an umbrella in it.
He LOVES this sand....but you can't tell at all.
We've officially become redneck, but what the hey...we love it. Nothing says I love you to two little boys than a whole heck of a lot of sand.....in a big ole tire.