Friday, June 4, 2010

Ready, Aim, FIRE!

I know I am going to get it for posting about this subject, especially from my mom. Last time I used the word PENIS in my blog, we had a little chat. Apparently it's not cool to use such language and I speak too freely about wieners, poo, pee and other bodily functions. Such is life mother dearest, such is life. I'm sorry mama, but this is too funny not to share. Sometimes life requires us to be open and honest, right? He wanted me to take a photo of his new Lightening McQueen undies, because he is so proud.
Brody is officially potty trained and in true rock star fashion. The kid is waking up dry, taking naps dry and using the potty like it's his job. Rock on, little man. I am so proud and very relieved that we didn't endure World War Three in order to reach potty Nirvana. I can't even explain how awesome he's doing and how excited I am not to buy diapers. The only problem that we have run into is what we like to refer to as the, "torpedo." In Brody's defense, he is a short little dude, barely reaching the toilet bowl when standing on his very tippy toes. He tries so hard to aim his little man parts down into the hole but to no avail. The dude shoots like a torpedo, hitting the back of the toilet, wall and anything within firing range. This kid could seriously injure someone with the speed that this pee is coming out. It's even worse when he's sitting on the toilet, he's actually sprayed the door to the bathroom....from across the room. I know, you're totally grossed out by now, but someday when you have children, and especially if you have boys, you'll understand. We've tried everything to try to get him to aim into the toilet but when he tries to do it himself, he almost shot himself in the eye. So unfortunately, we have to follow him into the bathroom and, "help" him pee into the toilet by making sure the little man parts are aiming down. It's really hard to do this while keeping a straight face (Brody also thinks it necessary to grunt exceedingly while peeing) He usually ends up screaming, "I peed on the wall or I peed on my hand!!" Although this doesn't seem to be scarring him, I'm hoping it ends soon and he can have some privacy while using the little boys room.

On a completely different and unrelated note, I am going out with my mom tonight to get our toes pretty. I'm not going to feel guilty or let anyone else make me feel guilty about spending a little cash on myself. I'm stoked. My feet are even more stoked. Lonnie and the boys are having a pizza party.

Have a marvelous weekend!


Lindsay said...

I almost peed myself reading this! I, for one, find your plain speaking ways highly entertaining. I mean, everyone pees and poops, why shouldn't we talk about it (especially when it's so funny!)?

Anonymous said...

Have you tried a small step sool? Our little boy had the same problem...the stool made it so he was highter and really didn't have to "aim" at all...she arches his back and "leans" forward.

Good luck! Isn't is awesome when they "get it"!