67. If you close your eyes tight enough, nobody can see you and if you're lucky, they might even think you're sleeping.7. It's important to give the parts of your body that don't see the light of day a little sun.
78. You should always try and remember where you threw your pants off the deck.
90. Never ever leave me and a can of shaving cream alone in the bathtub. Ever.
3. Brush and floss regularly.
123. If you must throw a heavy object, squishing your face and grunting is a must.45. Goggles make for fun play toys. They also work if you're trying to potty train and keep shooting yourself in the eye.
456. Dogs, especially my dogs, usually don't like pieces of paper being shoved into their eye sockets.
55. When you run out swiffer sweepers you can always use a Baylor.
89. Sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the little things....like the spin cycle.4. ...yea, that's right...extra cheese and....wha? Oh, uh.....don't let dad find out you've been ordering pizza with his cell phone.
2. Art is all in the eye of the beholder.
65. Never hide anything in the bottom of the sand box.
16. Nets are best used for catching fish and butterflies, not children.45. If you happen to have a runny nose and play in the sand box, the sand WILL stick to the snot creating a not so comfortable feeling.
57. Mom's idea of bunk beds was a little different from mine.
33. Swim caps work much better when submerged in water.
66. Dirt tastes bad....really bad.9. Everything can be a weapon. When mom takes away your weapon, you just use something else. My favorites are the crust off of my bread, vacuum cleaner attachments and trucks (see photo below)
11. Don't make a two year old mad. Especially a two year old who likes to hurl objects.