Sunday, August 8, 2010

All I know about marriage, I learned in Kindergarten

All I know about marriage (which doesn't happen to be that much) I learned in Kindergarten.
(Celebrating seven years of marriage to my wonderful hubby....who might be filing for divorce after reading this....love you babe!)

1. Share.
While this is true in most part of life, it is particularly true in marriage, especially when it comes to things like the remote, chocolate candy bars and unloading the dishes. It only seems fair if we share the responsibility of the crappy chores, right? This rule does not apply when it comes to germs, boogies and the details of your last BM. (All you married peeps I'm sure have heard the phrase, "YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!! and if you haven't, you're lying)

2. Put things back where you found them.
Case in point. Toilet seats.

3. Don't take things that aren't yours.
Again with the chocolate candy bars. I hide those for a reason.

4. Say your sorry when you hurt someone.
As in all relationships, it's always best to apologize....for everything....even if you didn't do it...just cover your bases. I'm usually the one doing the apologizing!

5. When you go out, hold hands, check for traffic and stick together.
Men are especially fond of the sticking together part, trust me.

6. Naps make for happy people.
What the heck is a nap?

7. Sometimes you just have to laugh, dance, sing, paint and play.
We have the laugh, sing, paint and play part down....but judging by the moves I've seen, we're going to have to work on the dancing part.

8. Grammar and punctuation.
It's not a good idea to send your spouse and email in all capital letters. This might imply that you are screaming at the via the Internet. Example: COULD YOU PLEASE BRING HOME SOME MILK?! You might get your milk, but you also might get a slap in the face. Which brings me to my next point.....

9. Don't hit.
Just playing with you. We only hit each other for fun....sometimes....okay, I hit him all the time.

10. Clean up your own mess.
I can hear your eyes rolling from here. If I had a dollar for every time I said this......

11. Always let the girls win.
What? You didn't learn that in Kindergarten?

12. Keep it simple.
Another good rule of a happy marriage is to send the hubby to the store with a simple list. Things like milk, bread and bananas are examples of appropriate and simple things for him to retrieve. Examples of inappropriate and complex things that might send him over the edge: Cumin, Tofu or any product ending in an "ex" (Kotex, Playtex, you get my point)

13. Learn from your mistakes.
Sticking finger in outlet (bad idea) shaving off eyebrows (another bad idea...don't ask) Telling your husband how to cut the grass (yet another really bad idea) Believe me, you will make mistakes in marriage, but think of how much you will learn!

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who puts up with me ,my strange sense of humor, my shortcomings and everything in between. Seven years, two kids, two dogs, one house and so many blessings we've lost count! Looking forward to the next fifty!!


2 comments:

Jill said...

happy anniversary! we'll be celebrating 13 yrs Aug 23!

Lindsay said...

Happy Anniversary! I love this list- it's so true! One time I sent Art to the store for cheese and bread, and he came home with apple turnovers and potato chips :)