Sometimes it takes a special friend, an honest one, one who you blatantly ignored because you were angry, to really set you straight. As human beings we all have the tendency to want to run and hide when faced with conflict as well as take on the victim roll and hold on to our baggage. I, being only human, have done both of those things for the past few years and it finally got thrown in my face today.....and it couldn't have been better timing.
Just about every one has had something uncomfortable or upsetting happen to them that they have held on to. Clinging to the past and dwelling on the anger it made you feel. These feelings are multiplied when they come from people you thought were your friends. You cling on to those feelings because sometimes you just don't want to change and they have slowly become a part of you.
Without going into detail, I had a similar experience a few years ago where I was really hurt. I continued to stew on these feelings of rejection and anger and that only made them worse. I used this past hurt as an excuse and a crutch in building relationships, getting involved and even making friends. It is just like the man at the healing pool in the bible who was paralyzed. I had been paralyzed with anger. Then along comes Jesus and asks, "Do you not want to get well?" In my case, it was a friend who finally sat me down and explained that holding on to the past and not forgiving and forgetting is a sin. Not only a sin but a burden that causes more anger and frustration in the process. I have a tendency to be very thick headed and stubborned and it finally came down to someone presenting me with the truth. What good are these feelings of anger? Why are you holding on to them? She acknowledged that I was hurt in the past but reminded me of the freedom from moving on and forgiveness and I was reminded of Jesus telling the paralyzed man to pick up his mat and walk. It is the least I can do for a savior who died for my sins.
So today I choose to move on and let go. I am picking up my mat and walking. I choose to forgive and forget just as Christ did for us. I am thankful for a friend who had the guts to get in my face, get angry with me and tell me the truth. I encourage you to think of the thing that weights you down, maybe it is a person or an event. Maybe you can't let go or can't forgive and it's been haunting you. It may have been something trivial or something that changed your entire life. It doesn't matter. Now is the time to pick up your mat and walk. Letting go is the first step to moving forward.