Thou Shall Not.....
1. Text while driving: When I look back in my rear view mirror and see the top of your head (yes, you know who you are) which means you are either a. trying to locate a missing french fry b. think your shoes are so beautiful that you can't take your eyes off of them or c. IDK telling your BFF that you're LOL. Not cool. Don't do it.
2. Call stores by strangely inappropriate names: this really only applies to my youngest who yells out today at the top of his lungs, "Hey! We're at The Nards!!!" Yikes.
3. Have you kid at school when they're sick: Yes, I realize that sometimes they're not sick when they leave but trying to mask a fever ("my mom gave me this yummy pink stuff and now I'm all better" BUSTED) or taking them to school when they have been sick just because it's inconvenient for you or they don't want to miss school. I won't send my kids to school sick if you don't send yours. Deal? This is truly the inner teacher speaking.
4. Wear see through clothing of any sort: Dude at the triathlon, I'm talking about you. There's nothing worse than looking up and catching a glimpse of butt crack while trying to climb a steep hill.
5. Write incorrect status updates on Facebook: It's called spellcheck for a reason people. (ALOT is not one word, it's two and They're, their and there all have different meanings....learn them)
6. Leave your scary hippy van in front of my house for days at a time.
7. Use the phrase, "let me pray about it," as an excuse for getting out of making a decision: Yes, pray about it for goodness sake but don't use it as a crutch or an excuse.
8. (Thou shall) Learn how to say no: Overworked people are grumpy people. I have a hard time with it (even though my husband thinks I've mastered the art of using the word NO) Don't be overworked and stressed, learn how to say No (or no thanks) when you have a full plate. We don't need more grumpy people in this world.
9. Forward emails with funny photos of old people, cute animals or threats that if I don't pass this message on my life really has no meaning and will end soon. I've clicked delete and I'm still alive and well.
10. Tattle: This goes for adults as well as children. If you're not bleeding, puking or have lost function of some body part, I don't want to know who looked at who funny.