I refuse to compare myself to others. A monumental task indeed. Mothers especially have this complex where they (often subconsciously) compare themselves to other more, "successful" moms. The definition of a successful mom has yet to be defined. I know I am doing a good job with my children. I know that soon I will go back to work as a teacher, but spending those quality years at home is where God wanted me. There are plenty of moms who have it all together, sew their kids clothes, feed them organic whole wheat cereal with goat milk at every breakfast and can keep their children clothed. I cannot nor will I try to be. So what if their kid reads the Dictionary before the go to bed or can speak in seven different languages. It's not worth the anguish, so I refuse.
I refuse to let people judge me based on the activities I choose to take part in, the way I look or act, the type of music I listen to, books I read or most anything for that matter. Sometimes as Christians, we can be the most harsh, the most judgmental and the most nit picky. You will have to answer to the big guy upstairs not to the lady down the street. Who are we to judge what kind of a Christian someone is or how strong their faith is based on the way they act or look. I'm fairly certain God doesn't go down his checklist and say, "Well, it looks like you didn't do this bible study group and didn't participate in that food drive, so well...you're off my list....and is that tattoo?" Nope, he doesn't. I'm not saying get lazy with your faith, but you don't have to be wound so tightly that you have tunnel vision. Some of the coolest (because being a cool believer is mandatory you know) and strongest Christians I know have given up trying to impress everyone else in the church and focused on impressing God. Pretty refreshing.
I refuse to let the world tell me what type of parent to be. Public, private or home school? Long hair, short hair or no hair? Spanking or time outs? Positive or negative reinforcement? Sports now or later? This kind of fits in with refusal number 1. There really is only one person you should listen to for parenting advice.
I refuse (or at least I'll try my hardest) to complain. It seems like complaining is second nature to most people, especially me. I am probably a glass half empty person, but I blame that on being realistic. Sure, I can find plenty of things to complain about but when you really examine your life, is it worth the complaint? My kids are healthy, I have a house (sure, it's small and frequently cold, but it's a house) My husband has a job, we have two cars now (Praise God!) We eat well (this doesn't mean I cook well!) I shouldn't have the right to complain and I am often embarrassed after the complaint comes out of my mouth. We could be fighting for our lives, have holes in the roof or be looking for work. Think twice before you complain about something.
I refuse to put other things before spending time with my family. This is REALLY hard for me. I am the type of person that cannot sit still and if I do happen to have a few spare minutes to do nothing, I'm thinking of what I should be doing instead of sitting. This characteristic can be a blessing and a curse. I am always on time, I get things accomplished very efficiently. yet I don't know the definition of relax. Sometimes I have a hard time just sitting on the floor playing with my kids or watching t.v with my husband. There are some things in life that can wait, spending time with my family isn't one of them.
I refuse to act my age. Dear Lord, I'm turning 30 in a few weeks....it's killing me. Do I really need to act my age? I'm not talking maturity here, because you all know that I am probably one of the most mature and totally appropriate people you know (this would be highly sarcastic if you're keeping track)......so in the words of my Aunt, "Heck, I'm almost 70 and I have yet to act my age." I agree.
What are your New Year's Refusals?