Monday, January 31, 2011

Double dare

 Those are sardines. Sardines in which Baylor's father dared him to eat. 

Never dare a little boy anything. 
Mmmm sardines. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Excuse me, can I have that GINORMOUS box?

Let me set the scene for you.........

We are getting a new furnace and water heater and I spot this amazingly huge box that would make a fabulous rocket ship.  The two men that are putting them in are a father and son duo, a tad on the rough side, but nice nonetheless.  I'm sure someone who saw Brody on any given day would also say, "he's a tad on the rough side." I would have to agree.  Anyways.....story goes like this.

Me: Excuse me kind, no that wasn't it......

Excuse me, I was wondering if I could have that box over there (me pointing to the water heater box)

Son: (gives me strange if I had just asked him if his name was pronounced Throat-Warbler Mangrove...his name was Kenny)

Dad: Wha'da want it for? (Think grumpy cowboy voice)

Me: My boys actually want to play in it.

Son: (still looking at me strangely......what? Do I have something in my teeth?)

Dad: Oh, well we don't give those boxes hear about them kids that played in those boxes......

Me: Thinking: (Yes, kids....I have two....and they play....your point is?)

Dad: ....well them kids got all inside that box and rolled right out into the street......

Me: Well, I wasn't going to have them play in the street.......

Dad:....yup, they rolled right out into the street and some car almost ran them over.  I wouldn't let your kids play in that box.

Me: I was actually just going to bring it inside here.....inside my living room.  (Is he really serious? Does he think I'm going to let me kids roll out into the a HUGE the middle of winter?)

Dad: Well, just don't let them roll it out into the street....they could get hit by cars you know.

Me: Yes, no rolling in street. Got it.  (Are you going to give me the box or what?!)

Son: Sure, you can have it.

Me: Thanks (make mental note to remind kids of how rolling very large boxes into the street when it's 15 degrees outside, while their mother leaves them unattended, is not a good idea)

End of story.

Box is in my living room.
Not in the street....but in case you see a huge box in the middle of the street, I would avoid it at all costs, there might be small children inside.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Baby, it's cold inside?

This cute baby is 30  years old now. 
(what is with the eerie floating face?)
Apparently that was cool back in the *gulp* eighties. 

Taking it gracefully. 

Today we are getting a new furnace and water heater (hallelujah!) but in order to do that, they have to turn the heat off (duh) and it's a wee bit chilly in here.  The fingers aren't doing what they're told, so I am retreating to the couch with a blanket, space heater and hot tea.   

Smell you later. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Things I learned in my twenties.....

The final days are looming. 
 Final days in my twenties. 
 An entire decade.
Adios twenties. 
Thirties here I come. 
I've learned a thing or two in my twenties. 

Just a thing or two....or twenty.  

1. Listen to your mother.  She's probably right.  Probably. 

2. Don't give a one year old a hammer and then give your mom the camera. (see photo above)

3. Men get better with age. Women just get jiggly. 

4. Life is not a competition. Motherhood is not a competition.  I'd kick your butt anyways.   

5. God's amazing grace is well, amazing.  

6.  Listen.  Don't speak. Listen. (oh, I am so bad at this!) When someone is talking, focus on what they're saying not on what you want to say next.  You'll be amazed.  

7.  Children are a gift from God. They also stretch and morph your body into something unrecognizable.  

8.  Listen to your husband. He's probably right. Probably.

9.  Eat your veggies. Even if they make you toot. 

10.  Just because the other kids are doing it, doesn't mean you have to.  

11. Quit worrying about what other people think about you.  Be you....even if that means standing up for things you know people don't agree with, wearing jeans and purple Chuck Taylor's to church or enjoying a mean lager once in a while.  

12. Don't talk politics on Facebook. People turn into idiots.  

13.  My children and husband are simply awesome. Just awesome. I am so blessed.  

14.  Marriage is hard work.  Motherhood is hard work.  Trying to balance both is hard work.  

15.  Cherish every single moment you have with your children.  Even the ones where you're crying, laughing or writhing in pain because there is a strange creature attached to your boob.  (15.5 It's okay to say boob) 

16. Sometimes you just have to suck it up.  Whining isn't attractive. Someone always has it worse than you. 

17.  Make people smile.  Whether it's paying for their coffee or saying the word boob, it's worth it.  BOOB.

18.  Don't live in a box.  Experience God's creation. Experience culture, life, music, pain and joy.  Being well rounded is one of my greatest achievements.  

19. Don't let anyone tell you how many children to have or not to have.  I believe we all know who's decision that is.  

20.  Just because you're turning thirty doesn't mean you have to grow up, grow old and get grumpy.  I'm looking forward to being fun, cool, graceful and wise (if that is possible) in my thirties.  I refuse to grow up. 


Thursday, January 20, 2011

I still hate winter

 Sure it might be pretty.....sometimes.....but it still stinks.  You'd think by now, living in the great state of Iowa my entire life.....(that would be almost 30 years.....don't get me started) I would be used to this frigid frozen tundra.


Not used to it.  

Slushy mushy snow all over my floor.
Salt in crevices (not bodily mind you)
Frozen pipes and clothes in the dryer (yes, it's possible)
Nostrils freezing together.
Stuck inside for days on end.
Scraping car windows.
Huddling close to space heaters.
Needing a defibrillator after opening heating bill.
Can't run outside.

Okay, so it's a little pretty....little bit. 


You can make snowmen so high that the local law enforcement stops by to have their pictures taken. 
Either way, I'm really ready for spring. REALLY.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Truthful Tuesday

It's Tuesday. 

Truthful Tuesday. 

1. My son just came downstairs after being "asleep" for an hour, to inform me that his younger brother just called him a penis.  I tried to be a good mom but I couldn't help it....I snorted.  You would too.  

2. I'm writing a paper right now. I'm writing a paper that has structure and format unlike most of my blog posts.  I hate writing papers with structure and format.  

3.  There is a giant ten foot snowman in my front yard and every I think about it I smile.  I really needed that ten foot snowman.  

4. I went to my first Perspectives class last night.  It was amazing.  I have a feeling I will be ruined for the ordinary. I left feeling full. What a good feeling it was. 

5.  I have forced my husband (who hates leftovers) to eat leftover chili for two days.  He's filing for divorce soon. 

6.  I did squats today. I can't sit down. When I sit down...I can't get up again. 

7.  My husband did a double take today when I walked by.  Unfortunately it wasn't because he was taken aback by my amazing good looks, it was because he wanted to see what was blinding him.  My white legs. 

8.  I am very proud of the fact that I can fit all of my clothes in half of a small closet and a few drawers.  This could be why most of my clothes are insanely wrinkled.  

9.  My husband is making recruiting calls right now.  He changes his voice when he talks on the phone to recruits.  It's amusing.  It's amusing and really annoying.  I'm trying to write a structured paper here!!  

Monster Snowman

We woke up this morning to a snowman in our yard.  
Not any snowman, mind you. 

A GIANT 10 foot snowman.  

A giant 10 foot snowman that the local police stopped by to have their photos taken with. 
 When you drive towards our house, he greets you.....or maybe it's more like stalking.  
 The boys have been in snowman heaven.  They think we're famous. If having a ten foot snowman in our yard makes us famous, than I'm game.

I'll bet you're wondering how a giant ten foot snowman magically appeared in our yard overnight.  

It was the work of two snow elves.  
Two snow elves (one of them not being so elfish at all...he towers over us all, reaching close to 7 feet)

Two snow elves that happen to be employed as assistant coaches by Lonnie and live a few houses down. 

Apparently they were bored at 11:15 at night.  

A little birdie told me that one of them was nearly crushed in the process of getting the second ball in place.  
Never fear, no snow elves were injured.  
You can't help but smile when you look at this guy.  

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The giant sloth and drool

 Why yes....that is drool, a whole puddle of drool....right there on his coat.  

 Did I ever tell you that Baylor sleeps with his eyes cracked  a wee bit? 

It's completely freaky. 
 He's really going to have to quit drinking so much.......
Took the boys to the Natural History museum in Iowa City today. Here is the giant sloth. Speaking of giant butt set off the alarm when we were trying to take this photo.  Nice one mom.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The ultimate smoothie

I have an addiction. 
Besides coffee, rearranging furniture and good chocolate. 

It's smoothies. 
They fill you up and they're good for you.
Here is a recipe for my ultimate smoothie:
Frozen fruit (bananas, blueberries, cherries or strawberries) No sugar added
Greek, plain or soy yogurt (just make sure there is no high fructose corn syrup in it)
Plain (non-sweetened) almond milk
Additions: Flax seed, Pro biotic powder or protein powder (after a good workout!) 
If it's not sweet enough for you, add a little bit of honey or real sugar....little bit. 

Blend. Drink. Yum.

If you have extra left over, freeze it in Dixie cups for healthy pop-cicles! 

Other news on the home front: 
1. Today Brody drew his dad a picture and when I asked him what it was, he replied, "it's my poop."
Who says my kids aren't thoughtful. 

2. Today Baylor wanted to walk into school alone.  I thought this didn't happen until junior high? 

3. I received a package from Britain today and it had Yorkshire Tea in it. Holy cow those Brit's like their tea strong. 

4. It's 0 degrees today. Since I can't go outside, I've managed to rearrange furniture in two rooms.  Look out!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

She wanted toys....

 No, really. 
I was fine without toys. 
I was fine just lounging on this ugly yet comfortable couch without any toys. 
What did the kid go and do? 
Gave me toys.
LOTS OF toys. 
Not dog toys however.
Little boy toys.
Little boy toys and one monkey slipper. 
 Oh, look. 
There he is now.
The bringer of toys. 
He thinks he's funny. 
I beg to differ. 
All I wanted was a nap.
Instead I get 323 army men in my lady parts. 
 Dear Lord, now he's going to try to TALK to me? 
Don't you know I only speak dog, kid? 
Someone gag me with a spoon. 
Let me nap.
And kindly remove this green thing from pushing against my pancreas.
 What's that you say? 
You love me?
I don't care if you want to marry me, can you please get rid of these toys? 
Unless you're telling me there's bacon in the kitchen, I don't want to hear it. 

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A student once more

Some people believe that motherhood can disrupt your career path or set you back significantly in your professional goals.  When they ask you what you do and you simply reply, "I'm a stay at home mom," seeing their eyes glaze over as you explain yourself.  I wouldn't call it a set back, but a brief vacation from the professional world (because goodness gracious, if being a mother isn't hard work, I don't know what is)  I have been fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with my boys while they are very young.  Both Lonnie and I decided that this would be best for them even if it meant taking a significant income reduction.  Believe me, has been worth every penny scrimped and saved and every uncomfortable, "are we going to make it to the end of the month?" feeling.  My time at home is slowly coming to an end, as both boys are reaching ages in which they will be attending school full time.
I knew early on that I wanted to be a teacher, I love working with kids and seeing the potential each and every one has.  I also knew that it had to involve art somehow, because that was something that I was passionate about as well.  Becoming an art teacher was a perfect I get my summers off! I was blessed enough to get to teach for two years before having babies.  Unfortunately, my teaching licence needs to be renewed....uh, next month....with six credit hours under my belt.  Nothing like living on the edge.  So I am currently taking a few graduate classes to receive credit and I might work towards getting my masters (even though deep down I feel that if you're a good teacher, you're a good teacher, no matter what degree you hold) It's been a delicate balancing act (I'm not quite sure how full time mothers try to be full time students, you are amazing) trying to finish papers and questions, taking care of my children and house and making art......all in one day.  I'm actually enjoying the reading material and topics covered, it makes me long to get back into the classroom someday.  It will be a hard transition to make, but one I am looking forward to when God tells me it's time and presents me with an opportunity!  It may be part time, it may be full time or it may be in a few years, but I can only trust that God has my future as an educator in His hands. I am excited for this new season of life to be approaching.  It does make me sad however, to watch my two babies grow up and start school of their own.  Where on earth did the time go!  So I am making the most of every minute (really! I have no minutes to spare!) with my children and husband.

Now it's off to write a paper.....geesh, it's been a long time since I written a paper (do blog posts count as papers?)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

If He's Anything Like Me......

I heard this song on the radio and thought it was speaking directly to me.....Thanks Brad Paisley.

I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there well you know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride hes bike to fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
He's gonna get in trouble oh he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week
He's gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he cant wait to leave
But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me there's worse folks to be like
Aw he'll be alright if he's anything like me

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Catch them being good

I live for these special moments as a mom.  Catching them being good.....together.....really together.  Love it.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

How I'll pay for their college....

When I win America's Funniest Home Videos......

Keri's Top 10's of 2010

Happy New Year!!

It just wouldn't be proper to leave this year without a post with LISTS! (I am a lover of lists) Here are some lists of my favorites for this year. In no particular order.

Read these.....some of these are children's books since I am a slow reader.
1. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
2. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
3. The Lake of Dead Languages by Carol Goodman
4. The Ghost Orchid by Carol Goodman
5. The Shack by William Young
6. The Book Thief
7. The Winter Garden
8. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
9. My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
10. Surprised by Joy by C.S Lewis

Listen to these....I could hardly choose just 10, I am a lover of music.
1. Boy with a coin by Iron and Wine
2. Thinking Bout Something by Hanson (Yes, Hanson)
3. Paper Aeroplan by Angus and Julia Stone
4. Inception Soundtrack by Hans Zimmer
5. Beautiful by Phil Wickham
6. Happiness by The Fray
7. If I Die Young by The Band Perry
8. Walking in Minefields by Andrew Peterson
9.  Take my Life by Kari Jobe
10. Sliding Down by Edgar Mayer and Bela Fleck

Drink these.....
1. Unsweetened almond milk
2. Odwalla Superfood smoothie
3. Smithwicks Irish Ale
4. LaSerra Mascato D'Asti
5. Dirty Chai from Espresso 134 (unfortunately they're closed now)
6. Cappuccino from Fuel (simply the best hands down)
7. Naked reduced calorie peach guava smoothie
8.  Fountain Diet Coke from Casey's (I get a craving about 1pm....not good when you're trying to give it up)
9.  Superfruit Green Tea by Lipton
10.  Moroccan Mint tea by Stash

Eat these.....
1. Nutella (seriously people, why didn't anyone tell me about this until now?)
2. White Chocolate macadamian nut ice cream by Blue Bunny
3. Greek yogurt with honey
4. Chocolate covered prunes
5. Kashi heart healthy crunch
6. Steel cut oatmeal
7. 70% dark chocolate
8. Black bean soup with bacon
9. The Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls...Dear Lord
10. Flourless chocolate cake

Wear really shouldn't be taking fashion advice from me (I have help)
1. Skinny jeans....I was technically against these until I found a pair that fit over my fat calves. Now I'm addicted.
2. Sweater Dresses with tights
3. A simple white t-shirt and comfy jeans (my favorite outfit)
4. Converse shoes (I would have a pair in every color if I was allowed to)
5. Brooks running shoes
6. Padded bike shorts....I learned the hard way...and when I say hard...I mean HARD. Ouch.
7. Tall boots
8. Nike sweatpants *sigh* heaven.
9. Asics running socks
10. Brooks running shorts in black spandex.....heck yes.

Watch these......I know, I know I'm off by a few years...but when you have children, watching movies and t.v aren't really at the top of your to-do list.
1. The Polar Express (trust me, I've seen this 123 times this week)
2. Robin Hood (with Russell Crowe)
3. Gran Torino
4. The Informant!
5. Storm Chasers
6. Up
7. Man vs. Food.... unfortunately every time I watch this I get seriously hungry and scavenge
8. Top Gear (BBC version)
9. American Pickers
10.  Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe.....if Mike Rowe ran for President, I might just vote for him because of his voice.

Don't let you kids DO these.......
1. Lick outlets
2. Plug things in, "by themselves"
3. Pour orange juice, "by themselves"
4. Put Parmesan cheese on the noodles with a lid that isn't quite secure (this also goes for sprinkles)
5. Brush their teeth on their own (Brody simply sucks the toothpastes off and then yells, "I'm DONE!")
6. Answer the door before you can say, "wait....I just got out of the shower!!"
7. Demonstrate what they learned in swimming the bathtub
8. Help you bake....with eggs....without supervising.
9. Eat red pop-cicles with white shirts on. Duh mom.
10. Brush the dog......with a fork.

Miscellaneous awesome things....
1. Method cleaning supplies from Target
2. Probiotics by GNC
3. Antibacterial hand gel in Sweet Pea (I have it everywhere....EVERYWHERE...I'd bathe my kids in it if I could)
4. The book of Isaiah (Studying this in BSF this year, it never ceases to amaze me)
5. iPod nano
6. Gimp (the free photoshop)
7. Steam mop
8. Electric blanket....I walk RUN to bed every night.
9. Dr. Pepper chapstick
10. Eye lid primer